Sigh

I just don't understand why people choose to be miserable.  Ultimately it's a choice.  If you are in a bad situation or are down on your luck, then do something to change it.  Stop blaming everyone around you and pointing fingers when YOU are the only one that can change the situation you are in.  And if you can't change it, then you have to change your attitude towards it.

I understand being stuck in this emotional bondage.  I understand being obsessed with controlling a situation or a person, but I am no longer in that place.  I have a recovery program that I work and stick close to that helps me from going down that road again.

It's hard knowing you are doing the right thing and having to be put in a situation to deal with someone who is stuck in a negative spiral attempting at every turn trying to suck you right down with them.  And sometimes refusing to get sucked down just makes them act worse.  But I continue to do the next right thing.  I begin to have feelings of restlessness and irritability, but fortunately, I am able to turn it right back around.

I could look at my personal situation with a "woes me" attitude and be angry at people, places and things too.  But guess what?  I CHOOSE to make the best of my situation and my life and I choose to see the blessings.  And I also choose my reaction to certain people and I also choose to protect myself and not get sucked into the sickness.  Because I've been there.  And today, I have a choice.  I have a program that has saved my life.  And it just goes to prove that I need it to survive.  Because I deal with the sickness every single damn day.  And I have to stay strong and focus on myself because if I'm not careful I can just as easily get sucked right back into it and make the situation even worse.

The worst place to be is not realizing that it's your own behavior and your own actions that are causing a situation and you choose to blame everyone and everything else EXCEPT for yourself.  It's a vicious cycle.  And I've been there.  Unfortunately until you realize it and start to heal yourself and fix yourself, you will stay in this sick mindset eternally.

It's not my job to fix anyone else regardless of my situation.  Sadly, this person is forever connected to me through circumstances outside of my control.  But what I CAN control today is how I react to the sickness and that I can protect myself.  No one can take away my serenity and happiness if I don't let them.  I feel sad for people still stuck in this sickness....but again, today, I choose not to participate.

I can only pray that this person will get the desperate help they need and begin to heal.