Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Minus 8 Months / Plus 4 Months

1 year ago today I saw this.  And took this photo.

We had just returned from a vacation in Mexico the day before and I *knew* that this would be the result of this test.

Truth be told, I knew I was pregnant a couple of weeks before I took this test.  I was about a week late on my cycle, but I *felt* pregnant.  I knew I was pregnant with my daughter 18 years ago before I took a test to prove it as well.

I certainly didn't imagine a year ago that my life would look like it does today.

I remember this day vividly.  I was filled with so many emotions.  So much excitement and on the other hand a fear that I would be doing this on my own.  Call it a gut feeling or women's intuition if you will.

I might say that I wish things had turned out differently, but truly I don't.  I had a brief relationship with someone from my past that I have known all my life and getting caught up in a whimsical love affair while ignoring the realities of the world, this was the outcome.  And I had left it up to fate.  I truly believe that there are no mistakes.  My gorgeous son was born and he is the 2nd best thing that has ever happened to me.

My life may not be perfect and it's certainly not conventional....but it is just as my life was meant to be.  God blessed me with a beautiful baby boy 4 months ago.  The ride has been a tough one...emotionally, financially, et al....and will continue to have it's difficulties, but it is all more than worth it....the joy that my son brings to my life outweighs any of the trials and tribulations that we will face ahead.

I was hoping that I would not be a single mother to my son, but circumstances panned out to where I am.  And somehow I knew in the back of my mind and in my heart that I would be.  And that's ok.  Because every second of every day is worth it knowing that I have my son.  He wouldn't be here had none of it happened.  I don't regret a second of it.

We've got big plans and can't wait for our adventure to continue.