A Special Thank You

i would like to take a moment to thank my lovely and beautiful and talented blogging soul sister ~ brandi ~ for the amazing spotlight for my jewelry that she posted on her blog :

spotlight on butterfly girl creations

everything that is currently in my shop right now is 20% off and i'm gearing up my creative juices again as the autumn weather is starting to settle in . look for more jewelry to be posted soon :) :)

thanks again brandi. you are the best. truly.

Blissfully On Hiatus.

ok so i suck horribly at this blogging thing lately. firstly because work is insane again (story of my life) and i just don't have time to post or look at my favorite blogs like i would like to. i have no idea what's going on with anyone and it makes me sad. just by the time i get home after working all day and then bringing work home, the last thing i want to do is look at a computer anymore.

i am blissfully happy...over the past month and a half an old flame came back into my life and we have been talking non-stop and falling for each other all over again. it's funny how people come back into your life for a reason and you realize that they are everything you've ever wanted and all you have done up until that point is "settle".

anyway....

we get to see each other on october 23rd for a 3 day weekend. we are currently living out of state from each other, but if all goes well, that is certain to change. after all, what would you not do for happiness?

that's it for now. ciao!

**edit : oh yah and completly off topic, ZOMBIELAND was HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!! must see!!!!!! i can't remember the last time i've laughed so hard!**

Hmmmm

these are the two books i'm reading at the moment. yes, going back through the twilight saga again. (i'm a glutton for punishment). i borrowed the other from crack monkey. i apparently have some issues. HA!

Infuriated.

i haven't been this angry in a long time.

the ignorance of the american people and of parents in general (and this is a moment in time that i HATE being a TEXAN). make that DESPISE.

yesterday i heard about this obama speech to our children in their schools next week. my assistant came into my office yesterday and was saying how he was going back and forth all day long with his daughter's middle school stating he doesn't want his daughter to watch the president's speech next week. this was the first i had heard about it. but his reasoning is "i'm not going to have my daughter be subject to that asshole. i hate that son-of-a-bitch."

REALLY?!?!? i kept my mouth shut, but i knew finding out more about this was going to throw me through the roof. on top of not feeling well this week - and feeling even worse yesterday and now today - i am all fired up about this.

so i get online and i read things like ....

"President Barack Obama's plans for a televised back-to-school address to students next week are drawing fire from some conservatives, who say he's just trying to indoctrinate them to his political beliefs."

and

"In the Sept. 8 speech, Obama will challenge students to work hard, set goals for their education and take responsibility for their learning, Education Secretary Arne Duncan said in a letter to principals."

and

" 'He will also call for a shared responsibility and commitment on the part of students, parents and educators to ensure that every child in every school receives the best education possible so they can compete in the global economy for good jobs and live rewarding and productive lives as American citizens' Duncan said in a press release."

oh AND THIS

"But already, some conservatives are crying foul. The chairman of the Florida Republican Party is condemning Obama's speech as an attempt to "indoctrinate America's children to his socialist agenda."

"The idea that school children across our nation will be forced to watch the President justify his plans for government-run health care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other President, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power," Chairman Jim Greer said in a press release.
Added conservative talk show host Tammy Bruce, in a Twitter feed: "Make September 8 Parentally Approved Skip Day. You are your child's moral tutor, not that shady lawyer from Chicago." And conservative author Michelle Malkin said the lesson plans have a "heavy activist bent." "

ADDITIONALLY

"In his letter to principals, Duncan said viewing of the speech is encouraged, not mandatory. It's the first time a president has ever given a speech addressed directly to students."

i literally feel sick to my stomach. i am so enraged i am shaking...in fact, i really can't talk about this anymore. so i will just leave you with a little exchange between crack monkey and i this morning.


crack monkey: did you give administration hell?
butterfly: yes - on hold for 30 minutes
butterfly: finally got through.
asked what the reasoning behind them not showing the
presidential address was "too many parents complained"
butterfly: me - "what were they compliaining about exactly"
butterfly: admin : "we just had too many phone calls from parents
and decided we will not be showing it. it will be video taped and
available in video though"
butterfly: REALLY?!?!?!??!?!?!??!!
butterfly: so i have a phone call into ladybug's principal right now
crack monkey: you know...this could have been the coolest thing in
these kids' lives.
butterfly: i am so tired of ignorance
butterfly: truly
crack monkey: the thing they look back on that motivated them to stay
in school, go to college and get a good job
butterfly: so what i might just do it pull ladybug out of school while its on,
get her to a computer for her to watch and take her back to school
butterfly: and if they count her absent during that time, so be it
butterfly: i will cause hell on top of that if they do
crack monkey: i still remember getting to talk via video to the people while
they were discovering the titanic wreck
crack monkey: it was awesome
crack monkey: this would have trumped that
crack monkey: i hate people
butterfly: lol
butterfly: me too
crack monkey: ignorant, knee jerk reactionists that don't know progess even when
it's biting them in the butt
crack monkey: "intellectualism" has become "elitist"
butterfly: amen sister
crack monkey: stupid, stupid people

RIP SRV ~ August 27, 1990

19 years ago today, we lost a brilliant musician. you are missed so dearly, stevie. God bless Texas...

~ soul to soul ~"You see, we are here, as far as I can tell, to help each other; our brothers, our sisters, our friends, our enemies. That is to help each other and not hurt each other." ~ Stevie Ray Vaughan

Ping!

Ping!

Heartbroken

image courtesy of photobucket

please excuse my rawness and possible manic ranting in this post, but i view this as part of my healing process, so well...here goes nothin. again....i apologize for the mere craziness of this post.

my love and i broke up yesterday. i will leave all the history out of this post, but just know we have been through A LOT together - from a drug and alcohol addiction to money issues to issues with children and ex's. it's been a roller coaster ride literally. we decided in november to give it one more shot. with all of the issues out of the way, we wanted to start a new. things were great. i truly thought things were going to work out this time. it's unfortunate how hard it is to get past some things at times. i had an underlying trust issue that was never quite resolved. we have struggled with them this whole time. it's been a slight issue, but i think i've managed pretty well with it. it seemed to be getting better.

things have been a little "off" for the past month and a half or so. let me preface with the fact that my now ex is a musician and is travelling most of the time. he's not home a whole lot, but we did live together and were sharing our lives together when he was at home and off the road. things haven't seemed right for a little while. we've gotten into a few spats and fixed them. we went on vacation to new orleans and had a wonderful time. as soon as we got home, something happened. someone from his past got into contact with him and he lied to me about it. it was bad. we got into it and things haven't been right for a week. he was out of town this past weekend and got back sunday night exhausted and very distant. i left for work yesterday morning - he was still asleep. he sent a text message to me yesterday morning saying we needed to have a serious talk about everything. i immediately called him. i could hear in his voice what was about to happen. it was a short conversation. i finished all my work - i left - went home and as i suspected everything of his was out of the apartment and the key under the mat. couldn't get a hold of him via text message or phone call.

got to the computer to check my email and his email was still up - he hadn't logged out. well...what did i find? of course communication between him and this "ex girlfriend" for whom he wrote a song about - stupid me thinking it was just a song about a girl...from his past. emails to her at the beginning of july saying how he had dreamed about her all night and couldn't stop thinking about her and that he will always love her. return emails from her stating how she will always love him and misses him. and then of course a more recent email entitled "for you" with a link to a youtube video of him playing his song he wrote for her and addressing it to her.

i'm crushed.

i'm so so so so so very angry and my heart is broken into so many pieces. AGAIN, i am 2nd. it seems like i have been in way too many situations where i have been 2nd choice. i am tired of being that person. and when you are that person for so long, you almost feel like you will be that way forever. but i know i don't deserve that. no one deserves that.

i am not blaming him for the demise of this relationship. i certainly have not been perfect - no one is. i had my role and i've made mistakes and said or done things that i'm not necessarily proud of.

but this by far is the ultimate betrayal.

so here i am in a whirlwind of emotions i go from a slight tear to fierce anger. i didn't sleep a wink last night - had major crazy dreams about his family last night as well. it was bizarre.

and to top it off there are kids involved. not "ours" together but mine and his. and they have become so close.

i can't believe he just up and left. no communication - no nothing. he did this once before to me but we had been through the "why" of it and the promise of it never happening again that i truly thought it wouldn't. and here we are.

no more chances...no more tries. no more making up. i am washing my hands completely of him from my life and starting the healing process. i know it's not as bad as in previous times because i've already been through it several times.

i know that i am going to focus solely for now on myself and on my daughter. i have put off so many things that i have wanted to do for myself and i plan to tackle them one at a time.

outdoor soccer season starts this sunday, so there's my first step. i'm looking forward to the intense running and sweating and releasing the toxins from my body...the emotional and physical ones.

sorry to be such a downer. i won't be any worse than this. it's all uphill from here. i have to go throw the motions AND the emotions and start my road to healing.

i am normally not such an open person about my personal life especially on here, but today, i felt i should be. that i needed to be.

i am thanking God for another day and asking him for the strength to guide me through this tough time in my life. better days are ahead.

*on a side and happy note, i would like to thank my sweet sweet soul sister, brandi for purchasing one of my necklaces from my etsy shop. you have no idea what the support means to me. check out her blog HERE and her photography HERE. she's such a creative and beautiful soul. thank you so much my darling. hugs and kisses to you.*

Woopsy

well, leave it to me to accidentaly delete two of the photos i was trying to post in the photo blog and i couldn't get them back in order, so here ya go.

french quarter - new orleans

our hotel

Photo Blog of Natchitoches and New Orleans, LA

well...i am FINALLY recouping from my week long vacation. been home for a week and i'm still in a slight daze. well worth it though. when i can find the time and the energy (not an overabundance of it quite yet around here), i will blog in detail about the trip. but for now, here are some photos to take you along our journey. i took many more, but i chose a few of my favorites. enjoy!

i would like to first set off the mood as we were leaving dallas headed east, "born on the bayou" by CCR came on the radio. couldn't get any better than that...

leaving shreveport, LA - headed southbound

had to snap a shot of this sign in the boudin shop - we had definitely entered coon ass country - i could hardly understand a word anyone was saying - strong south louisiana accent

the boudin (prounounced boodan) shop in breaux bridge, LA (famous for the boudin)


crawfish balls from the boudin shop. oh.my.goodness.

the atchafalaya basin - largest swamp in the US - definitely don't want to be breakin down around these here parts

another shot of the atchafalaya basin (please notice how i did not get OUT of the car to take a photo - there's a good reason for that ;) )

welcome to natchitoches (pronounced nakitish)

view towards the cane river from the river walk - it was breathtaking

fountain in the cane river - see the rainbow? :)

stunning magnolia tree along the cane river

all the benches looked like this. the fleur de lis definitely has a new meaning to me after experiencing louisiana.

banana plants outside the roque house

gorgeous, huge, OLD oak tree - i fell in love with it. the photo doesn't do it any justice.

the roque house

the roque house door

front door to the roque house

the steel magnolia house - primary filming of the film "steel magnolias" - they filmed the movie in natchitoches

the steel magnolia house

the mighty mississippi river - crossing over into baton rouge, LA

chartres street - french quarter - new orleans, LA

our hotel - le richelieu

one of my favorite photos of the trip - the andrew jackson statue in jackson square. i was amazed how this photo came out

jackson square in the morning

in between jackson square and the st. louis cathedral. i love the colors in this photo.

joan of arc statue - maid of orleans

gas lamps along the streets of the french quarter. i absolutely fell in love with them. especially at night. it completed the feel and ambiance of new orleans for me.

trompone player outside cafe du monde

cafe du monde coffee - i don't drink coffee, but for regular coffee drinkers, it's some of the best coffee in the world...chickory

beignets at cafe du monde. yes, they are as delicious as they look.

lake pontchartrain (the r is silent) and the causeway. 2nd largest salt water lake in the US. the causeway is the largest bridge over a body of water in the WORLD! 24 miles long. we drove all the way across and all the way back. i really felt connected in this part of louisiana - this is where many of my ancestors are from.

french quarter - new orleans

chartres street - new orleans

french quarter - new orleans

the seafood platter at deanie's. mikey and lance split it and still didn't get 1/2 way through it. good lord!

inside the st. louis cathedral

the st. louis cathedral

let me explain this photo as it came out very fuzzy. this is the statue of jesus behind the st. louis cathedral. we were walking back to our hotel from bourbon street one night and the shadow from the statue on the cathedral was utterly amazing. the photo did not capture it at all.

statue of jesus behind the st. louis cathedral. i thought it was really neat how the bird was sitting on his outstretched hand.


and this concludes our photo journey. i hope you enjoyed it. i will sit down and write more about the trip later, but it's amazing the stories that can be told through pictures. i'm definitely going back, but i have to admit, i will not be going back to new orleans in august. it was SWELTERING hot. even in the tour guide books, they have events for every month and what's listed under august says "In August, we sweat." nothing else. and that's the truth.

Friday Evening Shadow Dance on My Back Porch

For.The.Love.Of.Pete.

so i woke up this morning with this song immediately in my head and it still has yet to stray.

"HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!"

yes, the same one by the scorpions.

why on earth? i have been asking myself that same question all morning. so just thought i would share.

maybe it has something to do with the fact that TODAY IS MY LAST DAY of work and i'm off for an entire week! going to NAWLINS with my sweetie. i.can't.freakin.wait.

i will be back soon with lots-o-pics to share.

ciao my lovely blog friends!

Top 5 Funniest Fake Facebook Pages

dude.

funniest shit i have seen in a long time. i am still laughing hysterically. it's out of control.

Top 5 Funniest Fake Facebook Pages

Jesus' Facebook Page

Facebook Passover

Facebook Pages We'd Like To See

Welcome to The Twilight Zone

butterfly : ok so i had to share this
me and ivycurlz went down to get muffins in the basement down here
and the little chinese guy is like "merry christmas!" with a big smile on his face
we are like uhhhhhhhhh
and they are playing white christmas, then it went to another christmas song
ON THE RADIO STATION (no it's not a cd)
i felt like i was in the twilight zone

the davish one :WTF?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That's AWESOME!

butterfly : then of course ivycurlz is singing at the top of her lungs
tell her merry christmas
:P

the davish one : just did... this ought to be funny

butterfly : oh it will be. and she's UBER hyper today on top of it

the davish one : she writes " Santas comin early!'
LMFAO!!!

butterfly : christmas in july maybe?
doo doo doo doo
wtf
that was very bizarre

the davish one : twilight zone time!

butterfly : if this is a sign of how my day is going to go, i don't know if i should be scared or just go with it
LOL

the davish one : Trust me, just go with it...

butterfly : will do then
this should be interesting...

the davish one : Exactly!! God knew you needed a visit from the Cosmic Jester!
(especially after yesterday!)

butterfly : you ain't lying ;)

the davish one : ivycurlz needs your help in picking out office supplies to gift to your santa singing friend downstairs...

butterfly : HAHAHAH this is hysterical
too bad we don't have any red staplers
:P

the davish one : I KNOW! That's totaly what I was thinking...http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/supplies/61b7/

~ New Necklaces ~

i've been a busy bee today whippin up these beauties ~ check em out ~

more HERE

From Ivycurlz to Butterfly :)

zoe&zac

for those of you that know me know that i certainly am not a shoe person. if it were up to me i would be wearing flip flops or barefeet 365 days out of the year. unfortunately my place of employment doesn't allow either of these, so i have to compromise. i have a couple of pairs of shoes that i wear to work. and they are comfy. and i like them well enough.

i stopped in payless shoes tonight on my way back from my shopping adventure at whole foods and i found these cuties to wear to work. i was iffy on getting them, but then once i read about how green this company is...well...i caved. :)

Burning In The Pits of HELL

photo courtesy of photobucket

ok so i know the title is a little abrasive, but seriously folks. this is beyond ridiculous. i think we should take this as a sign.

this summer in our great state of texas is out of control! and by out of control, i mean OUT OF CONTROL.

being the nature loving, hippie gal that i am, i try to make the best of things...but this is excruciating. it's too hot to even go to the pool! the pool water is so warm it's like you are taking a luke warm bath in 150 degree weather on top of that. yuk.

you know it's bad when you walk outside and you instantly can't breath and feel the fire all over your skin.

we've had some bad summers, but this one is definitely a doozy. last summer amazingly wasn't so bad, i think it only got over 100 degrees for a couple of weeks...which is nothing considering the rate we are headed in this one.

i got a giggle on a comment of a friend of mine's facebook last night asking if we had air conditioning down here in texas. holy crikey...could you imagine life without it here? not to mention all of the heat related deaths we have EVEN with air conditioning.

just the forecast for today alone from a local news station :

Noon : 99 degrees, Sunny

Detail : Heat advisory until 7pm tonight

Winds : S 10-15mph

5pm : 105 degrees, Sunny

Detail : Sunny and very hot. Heat advisory continues

Winds : S 10-15mph

uh, so not only are we burning in the pits of hell, but with NO wind on top of it. shoot me now.

so with all of this said, i am going to be going against my hippie nature this summer and continue to stay in the air conditioner so i don't #1, fry like an egg and #2, develop the worst kind of skin cancer known to man. not to mention the million dollar electricity bill.

this blows.

SOS - send some northern winds...pronto.

Weekend in Pictures

our sleeping bella on friday night :


gorgeous flowers at the pool:


ladybug's masterpiece:

gift by me to my boss' new baby girl :

gift by me to ladybug's baby sister:

crack monkey's creation for the ladybug :

our new windchimes :

ah, tranquility :

Buggiter. (My version of Bugger)

well, plans for a new braunfels / austin weekend fell through unfortunately. we are replanning for mid-late august. mark my words, it WILL happen. haha.

so instead, crack monkey and i have converted our plans into a girls weekend with the ladybug filled with much pool time, some good chick flicks and some artsy fartsy creativeness.

i will be most sure to take photos from our fun weekend and post them for your viewing pleasure.

until then, i bid you adu (more than likely) cuz i'm busy as hell at work. (i know you are shocked by that news).

ciao bellos and bellas!

KITTY KLASS

it's dangerous inside our heads at times....

butterfly : do you like my cuter booter tiger?
ivycurlz : awwww yes
thats adoreable
butterfly : i want a tiger *ivycurlz*
ivycurlz : lol
when i win the lotto i will buy you one fo sho
butterfly : sweet. i will have to have a house with a lot

of land so it can roam around
and sleep with me in bed at night. cuddles!
hehehe
ivycurlz : okk ok i buy you a big house too
with lots of land
butterfly : i love yew

look at my tiger...don't you just want to squeeze him and give him

big kisses?

then he will bite our faces off

no he's too young for that.

give him another 3 months or so,

then he will bite our faces off.

rawr.

ivycurlz : not till hes older

he will lick our faces

butterfly : i want him

ivycurlz : then in about 6 months

butterfly : i love hims

ivycurlz : eat our faces

butterfly : nom nom

that's what i can do,

i will raise them until they get to the age of biting my face off,

then send them off into the wild and keep them from being

endangered

ivycurlz : lol you gonna teach them to hunt

butterfly : sure! LOL

ivycurlz : hahah okdeokkkeee

here eat my arm and my leg

come catch me tiger

rargggh

butterfly : i think i'm seriously going to consider this.

move to india or somewhere and start my own wild tiger rescue

raise the cubs until they start scratching my face, then

let them go off into the wild.

sounds like a plan to me

ivycurlz : omg lets go

im in

butterfly : i would love to do that with you

ivycurlz : omg that would be the most perfect job ever

butterfly : let's do it

ivycurlz : live out in the wilderness

butterfly : and cuddle with tiger cubs all day

ivycurlz : have tons of land

feed them giant bottles of milk

butterfly : maybe we could throw in a few elephants too

and giraffes

but we can specialize in the tigers

LMAO

ivycurlz : eeeh

elephant poo is bigger than me

giraffes yes

butterfly : ew you are right.

let's stick with the tigers

ivycurlz : maybe some black panthers

butterfly : ooh yah

ivycurlz : they are pretty

or lionesses

butterfly : let's just do big cats in general

ivycurlz : YES

big cat india farm

butterfly : "IVYCURLZ AND BUTTERFLY'S BIG KITTY

RESCUE"

then undernearth it will say "rawr"

ivycurlz : LOL i love it!!!

lets call it KITTY KLASS

Klass for K*, L* and S* and S*

LOL

butterfly : ooooh that's GOOOOOOOOOD

ivycurlz : lmfao!!

butterfly : we will have to be extra careful with the girls

to make sure they don't get their faces eaten early

ivycurlz : it was stoopid but funny

butterfly : cuz they will be all up in their faces

LOL

ivycurlz : they can wear hockey masks

butterfly : perfect

ivycurlz : doooo dooo dooot doood ooodd

pink ones

lol

butterfly : that might scare the little kitties

ivycurlz : so they dont look scary

butterfly : lol yah

ivycurlz : weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

oh what fun

butterfly : i am ready. let's go.

i am assuming we need to capital or some loans

to get started on this venture of ours got any connections

with the mob?

ivycurlz : um well i did have uncle vinny

but hes 6 feet under now bad drug deal

butterfly : blast!

ivycurlz :we could knock over a bank here in the states
have pre-paid airline tickets
jump straight on the plane
and head to india
never get us there
butterfly : i like the way your mind works.
ivycurlz : when do you want to go eat?
butterfly : wheneva. do you have your lunchy here?
ivycurlz : yep!
found it stuffed in the back of the freezer
butterfly : let me finish posting our good idea to blogger, then i'll

be ready
:P
ivycurlz : lmfao!!!
omg
well maybe someone rich will read it and want to sponsor us
butterfly : you never know
ivycurlz : that would be
r
a
d
i
c
a
l
butterfly : "now accepting donations"
lol
ivycurlz : kids, were moving to india
lol!!
butterfly : on that note, let's eat!

Irrelevant Quizzes for your Thursday

Created by Recipe Star

Created by Recipe Star

Happy Pancakes

the ladybug said LL's pancakes looked like a smiley face...so he added the smile. sunday fun at denny's.

Fun on a Friday

The Davish One : I found out some guy is following me on twitter, and so I looked at his stuff
and he wrote this: Alexander led 40K men, over 20K miles in 11 yrs to be what he was. What r u willing to do? Be lazy? Or be Great? You can't be both.
Which has managed to put me in a tail spin for the last 20 minutes
butterfly : whoa.
i pick lazy
LOL
The Davish One : HA!
butterfly : greatness can be in my mind
The Davish One : It's hard being up here
away from ya'll
butterfly : come down and play *the davish one*
hahahhaa
(about 2 minutes later when i realized that he is actually in philly right now)
butterfly : funny thing is that i thought you were speaking in the figurative sense
then i realized you were being literal
wow, i really made myself laugh there
The Davish One : HAHAHAHA!!! Nice One *butterfly*!

Tim Burton's - Alice In Wonderland

9 High Resolution Photos/Concept Art From Tim Burton’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’

wow, is anyone as excited about this movie coming out as me???? :) :)

The Controvercy of MJ

this is probably going to open up a can of worms, but it's a reality. i have heard MANY mixed emotions surrounding the death of michael jackson. including myself.

most of what you're hearing is shock, sadness, the death of such a huge icon for my generation. i mean, he truly was OUR elvis, OUR beatles. granted, he was neither of the 2, but he was that big to us. and i say WAS because since his legal and morality troubles started, people did see him differently.

all of that aside, you can't argue with his talent as an artist. he brought something that no one was ever able to bring. he was truly THE crossover musician. if it wasn't for him, there would not be many of the artists out there today. seriously. my parent's generation and honestly anyone even 5-10 years older than me does not understand our feelings. they went through the death of elvis... i was too young when elvis died to feel that impact. i feel it now, but not when it actually happened. i remember when i first got the cassette tape "bad" in 1987. i was 11. my mom bought it for me. i remember wearing it out in the cassette player. i remember watching "thriller" and thinking it was soooooooo scary, but i also thought it was AWESOME. (now that i look back, that might have been the start of my zombie obsession. ha!) michael jackson's music had a huge impact on my childhood and my growing up.

he was always eccentric, but that's ok. who isn't now-a-days.

now, for the can of worms. even my own boyfriend who is my age is not at all saddened by this news. it doesn't impact him in any way. he grew up with it just like i did. but in his eyes "God don't like ugly". and yes, he is right. if the allegations were true, and only MJ and God know the real truth, then i absolutely agree. he was not found guilty of the charges. but i also have no tolerance for child molesters. and if is what he truly was, then yes, God knows that. and that is between him and God.

but i don't know for sure. i can't accuse when it all very well could have been one idea that tumbled into a full on lie because one person thought they could benefit from the money that they would receive and other people decided to hop on the train. i just don't know. i don't know the guy personally and honestly when you are in the spotlight that much, you don't know what to believe.

all i know is the impact that his music had on me and that it STILL has on me. i hear his songs and i reminisce. and i sing and i remember days of my childhood. i remember mtv when they actually played videos. they are good memories. and i can't ever deny his talent as an artist.

it's very sobering and i feel somber. i hope that people will remember his legacy and his music and not the accusations and the legal troubles that were brought to light. that's between him and God as i said before. all i know is that we truly have lost OUR superstar.