Thursday, July 31, 2008

well poo

i've run into a wee bit of a conflict here. they have blocked access to youtube up here at work, and obviously, quite a few of my posts contain youtube videos. AND since i can't post from home for some strange reason....this is going to be quite a challenge. gah. always a stick in the spoke, eh?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Every Breath You Take

we were watching the live aid concert last night on vh1 classic from 1985. i had never seen it. strange. beside the point. anyway....sting played an acoustic version of "every breath you take" with phil collins that was purely just lovely. and i wanted to share it with you all.


Monday, July 28, 2008

6 months sober

someone very special in my life is having his 6 month anniversary today of being sober. it doesn't seem like it's been that long, yet it honestly feels longer. reference this post.

i have never been an addict to much of anything. cigarettes are really about as far of an "addiction" i have had. and smoking is and was not really something i have HAD to have. we all have our own problems and i have my own issues with anxiety and occasionally other things. i have never understood drug or alcohol addictions. until a few years ago. when this person came back into my life after a long absence and i was there. i saw it head on and dealt with it every day of my life. holding on for dear life praying that this person was not going to kill himself. the alcohol, the cocaine, the heroine, the meth. all of it. this is the hard part about having an overly huge heart and thinking you can be there for everyone and help them. but this person meant so much to me that i knew i couldn't give up. i never gave up on him...even with all the SHIT we had been through or that HE put ME through. i almost gave up on him this last time. i kept my distance because i didn't want to get dragged into it again after the first 2 times. i didn't let him back in.

the main thing i've learned with addictions is that this person can not just say ok i'm done and quit. just like with anxiety, when someone tells me "oh just quit worrying". hmmmm. that part i completely relate to.

something happened to this person towards the end of last year and he was incapacitated (unwillingly of course), but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. his "rock bottom" if you will. he tried to get in touch with me during this time. at first i was skeptical...i was afraid to let myself in again. but i also knew that i am one of the only people he had. that he TRULY had. i was there for him again....but at a safe distance in my eyes. i didn't want to get hurt again.

he was released back into the free world on january 28th. being in his life now is how i had always imagined it would be. back when his addiction had taken over him, yet i knew the person he was beneath all of it. the hope that i hadn't lost for him shines through now. his life is coming together and major things are happening for him. we've had to get through a lot to be to the point we are at today. from the dungeons of hell, through all the apologizing, through all of the healing. we are as close as we could possibly be today. we have a bond between us that i've never shared with anyone else. i'm glad i didn't lose hope. i am so very proud of him. today and everyday as i realize the struggle it takes to get to this point. 6 months may not seem like long to your average person, but to an addict it can be a lifetime.
so congratulations to you sweetie. i love you so very much.

Diamonds On The Inside

i was told by a very close friend the other day that i wore diamonds on the inside. i think that's the best compliment i've ever received. i was incredibly flattered.

Ben Harper - Diamonds On The Inside (official video)

I knew a girl
Her name was truth
She was a horrible liar
She couldnt spend one day alone
But she couldnt be satisfied
When you have everything
You have everything to lose
She made herself a bed of nails
And shes planning on putting it to use
But she had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside

A candle throws its light into the darkness
In a nasty world so shines a good deed
Make sure the fortune that you seek
Is the fortune that you need
Tell me why the first to ask
Is the last to give every time
What you say and do not mean
Follows you close behind
She had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
She wore diamonds on the inside

Like the soldier long standing under fire
Any change comes as a relief
Let the givers name remain unspoken
She is just a generous thief
She had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
She wore diamonds on the inside
She wore diamonds
Oh - diamonds
She had diamonds
She wore diamonds

Friday, July 25, 2008

Flashback Friday : Volume 33

i was in a deady mood today and coincidentally enough, i heard this on the way to work this morning.


Grateful Dead : "Touch of Grey"

Thursday, July 24, 2008


i've been hearing this song a lot lately on my online radio station i listen to while working. i've heard several of her songs and i really dig her voice. she's fun and cute.

regina spektor - "fidelity"

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Rebel With a Cause

i'm back at work today after a lovely vacation day off from work yesterday spent with LL since he's gotten back from his europe tour. we had a great day. HOWEVER, now i am sleepy cuz i dove into my twilight book again last night and ended up finishing the whole thing. dangit! it totally sucked me in just as i was told.

anyway....i bought the new gov't mule album "mighty high" over the weekend. it's fantastic. i highly suggest it.

this is the 2nd song on the album and definitely one of my favs. enjoy. happy tuesday!

Monday, July 21, 2008

best.article.evar.'s up there. i almost peed myself the whole time i was reading i was laughing so hard. enjoy.

I Don't Have Time For Noncontroversial Art Exhibits

Friday, July 18, 2008

Flashback Friday : Volume 32

yes, i'm a slacker, hush it.

i knew i needed to do a flashback today, but my brain is mush this morning, so i had to get a little help from my friend, al.

per his suggestion, here is genesis : land of confusion from 1986. whew! takin ya wayyyyyyyy back.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Fun with Natorchen

so let me give you just a tad bit of background on the convo you are about to read. an on-running joke with me and natorchen is he asks me every few months if i will have his children. done this for YEARS upon YEARS. answer is always no. different excuse every time or simply just no. he figures eventually i will say yes if he asks enough. i told him i would say yes when we are 80. :-p

so, tonight we have planned a get together (or shall i say, i organized it) at our favorite bar of years that is closing it's doors sunday forever. :( gonna be a sad day.

(p.s. bar's name is "stout" - and the 'stra on the end is just one of our many isms we attach in our everyday conversation)

natorchen says: stoutstra?
butterfly says: si. i have an indoor game at 7:30, but i will go up there afterwards.
natorchen says: ugh
butterfly says: wha?
butterfly says: i can cancel on the soccer i spose
natorchen says: no... don't
butterfly says: why are you ugh'ing
*You sent a Buzz!*
natorchen says: hold
natorchen says: always with the soccer... "wanna go to a movie?" "no, I have a game"... "wanna go to the stout party you organized?" "no, I have indoor"... "wanna have my children?" "no, I have soccer"
butterfly says: LMAO
butterfly says: that's a good excuse for the kids thing. i'm using that next time you ask. LOL
natorchen says: hehehe

Twilight series

alright, so i'm beginning a new reading adventure this weekend. two very lovely, eccentric chicas that i work with will NOT stop talking about this series. the twilight series by stephenie meyer. so much that they have already gone through the first 3 books in the last few days and haven't been able to go to sleep at night because that would entail putting the book down. in fact, one of them threatened to call off her engagement if her fiance didn't leave her alone so she could finish reading. that's some serious stuff. ha!
sooooooo, i am intrigued and have to see what this is all about for myself. i have a very very busy weekend ahead, so hopefully it won't effect it too badly. :)

Galactic and Ozomatli

so i'm ever so excited when i get my email yesterday for presale tickets at house of blues for the galactic / ozomatli show october 30th. *big smiles*

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


i loldog'd my spoiled rotten puppy. cuz i'm a goob.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Break It Down Again

so i should be waiting until flashback friday for this, but dammit, i can't get it out of my head this morning and thought i would share.

Monday, July 14, 2008


butterfly 7/13/08

i love to say "hello" like that. hallo. it's so fun. and british.

a couple of subjects came to mind this morning as i drove into work.

firstly, not all of you may know this, but i like to play with pictures. photographs specifically. i get an idea in my head and i am inspired. it's nothing special...nothing fancy....but it's fun for me. it's usually self portraits that i like to experiment with. contrast, color, angle. i have a blast with it. and after an afternoon spent by the pool and pups with a dear dear friend, i was inspired last night. in my unpleasant glory of sweatiness and general grime. for some strange reason, a lot of the photos i take of myself are rather melancholy. not all smiles. even though i smile A LOT, in experimenting with these photos, i have a bit of a mona lisa mystique to myself that i am unaware of it's origin. but i digress....

butterfly 7/13/08

secondly, i am not a huge tv watcher. i watched quite a bit of it back in the day and had several shows that i made sure to catch every week. not so now. there's only one tv show that i make a point to catch and that's the l word. and it's very seasonal and short. otherwise, on the weekends or laying in bed at night winding down, i will just browse until i find something that tickles my fancy. thanks to LL, he has gotten me hooked on walker, texas ranger. jesus cristo. it's so bad, that you just can't help but watch it. plus, it was filmed where i live, so it's kind of fun to check out the places they were and realize where they are. when i'm browsing around, i will usually stop if i see that what not to wear is on...or LA ink...or your occasional british comedy on kera. as of late, i've been stuck on a&e.

let me preface this by saying that i am not at all a KISS fan. (go ahead and throw out your obscenities at me...i can take it). my close friend in jr. high and high school WORSHIPED and i mean WORSHIPED this band. along with ac/dc. i honestly despised both bands. he tortured me once by making me watch a KISS video tape. i think i was scarred for life. (must be what's wrong with me today). anyhoooo.... today i still don't necessarily like either band, but i DO appreciate them now.

and one day i found myself watching gene simmons : family jewels. i couldn't believe that i was actually subjecting myself to this, but i sat and watched. if i remember correctly, it was a bit of a marathon of this show on a weekend. i kept watching. i was hooked. gene simmons is actually a frickin amazing man. he's intelligent and fun and FUNNY. and their family is so quirky and cute. little did i know how fun i would think they are. that's what i get for judging a book by it's cover, i suppose.

my next recent addiction (no pun intended) is intervention. i can not call this program positive or uplifting. because honestly it's not. it's a documentary about addiction (of all kinds - from drugs to food to alcohol) and they film this person's life as it is, then the family comes in for an intervention. it's a bit morbid that i watch this show if you ask me. having been directly involved with an addict, it certainly hits home at times. but something about this show drags me in. and i like watching it.

lastly, yessssssss i am a complete goober for this, but i recently found out that this show is on called the two coreys. yep. haim and feldman. being a child of the 80's, i was in LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE with corey haim. i liked corey feldman, but he just wasn't hot like haim was. ha! i watched ALL of their movies from license to drive to lost boys to dream a little dream - you name it, i saw it atleast 15 times. so....20 years later....they now have a reality show. about the demise of their large part due to haim's drug addiction. have you seen him lately??? wow. his actions have really taken a toll on him in the last 20 years. poor guy. feldman looks great and is actually doing quite well for himself. anyway....point is....don't watch this show. it is total crap i have to say. but such horrible crap that if it's on, i'm probably going to stop and watch it. just kill me now.

ok...enough yammering. must get to work. happy monday all!

Friday, July 11, 2008


since i've been incredibly addicted to slurpees as of late, my lovely friend, crack monkey, informed me that today is free slurpee day!

thought i would pass along to news. go get you one!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

A Black Hole? No... it should be a WHITE Hole, you idiot!

ok apparently i'm on a roll today. for those of you that are not in the general vicinity, you may have never heard of our completely ignorant, always jumping on the racism wagon, commissioner john wiley price. i'm sure my african american friends out there are just thrilled with joy as to the shit he causes. (note the sarcasm).

yes, this guy is truly serious and causes stinks like this all the time. in fact, i'm sure you may have heard of him as he makes national news a lot with this bs. check out these blogs. the first one has the BEST comments. ever.

the dallas observer blog


dallas city hall blog

Vanilla Ice Cream

ok this is really what i was looking for this morning. i had to email the morning show and find out who this was. i was laughing so hard in my car, i almost had to pull over. enjoy.


Vanilla Ice Cream - Stephen Lynch

Have a seat and listen, please don't say a thing
The matters of the heart sometimes, the truth will ever sting
Just don't take it personally, this is no attack
But we will never last because I am white and you are...also white

I only like black girls the brown girls, the café au lait
Caramel girls, and mocca girls just blow me away
If your a nubian, I want you to-be in every fantasy
But if you're a whitey, say nighty-nighty, your just not the girl for me

Oh I hate vanilla ice cream, I like chocolate instead
I hope she likes her soul food with a little Wonder Bread
Don't call it Jungle Fever cause that just isn't right
I am not a racist, some of my best friends are white

I just prefer black girls, the brown girls, the café au lait
A caramel girls and mocca girls just blow me away. If you're a cracker, you better get blacker or else you best get out
It is no mystery, I like a sister see that's what I'm talkin about

Our wedding song will be "Ebony and Ivory", and we'll sing Christmas carols round the old Kwanzaa tree
But color is not the issue here, it's dignity, it's class
It's all about her heart, okay it's partly about that ass
I want me some black girl, the brown girl, the café au lait
A caramel girls, and mocca girls, just blow me away
If you're a honky, you're singin the wrong key, it's the honest truth
The skin that she's dwellin in, must contain melanin, that is the Fountain of Youth.

Thomas Jefferson.

Robert DeNiro.

David Bowie.

To a certain extent...Ted Dansen.

Strom Thurmond!!! Strom Thurmond!!! yeeeahh...

Willie's Got Road Rage Again

i heard this on the radio last month and almost lost it. found it on the website, but couldn't find it separately to post, so go here :

it's the 2nd video.

Got road rage again, Some m0therfuck*r cut me off again, take your phone and shove it up your @ss my friend, son of a bi+ch I've got road rage again.

Got road rage again, some stupid bi+ch driving a mini van, baby onboard but I just don't give a d@mn, I'll flip her off I've got road rage again.

Got road rage again, there's a million fu*k!ng @ssholes on the highway. Go fu*k yourself my friend, and get your fu*k!ng @ss out of my way, or you'll pay.

Got road rage again, I can't be fu*k!ng late for work again, I think I'm madder then I've ever fu*k!ng been, fu*k off and die I've got road rage again.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Why I Get A Kick Out Of My Job....sometimes

so being an underwriter, we review a person's...well everything. their ability to save money, their income, their credit worthiness, etc. we are even provided with a photo of their first born (ok only kidding on the last part). but i have to get down into this person's life. this includes reviewing their bank statements for any unusual or large deposits. so here i am, underwriting along, going through the deposits and i come across this:

this needs no commentary.

on a side note, crack monkey and i have created a new blog for our silly work adventures...the things i SEE most of the time...and the things she HEARS most of the time. she's in the advertising field. should be good times. be sure to check it out here :

I'm On A Mexican Radioooooooo

alright folks, sorry to do this AGAIN, but i'm going private...and this time probably for a very long time. tired of the drama and tired of wandering eyes. i'm not gonna get dragged down with it anymore. so i am going to leave this up until tomorrow or friday. be sure to email me at my email address listed in my profile if you want to be added to the list, so i can add ya.


Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I Have a Clever Title

soooooooooo, i do realize that i've become quite the boring blogger over here lately. my apologies to ya'll that do read this....bear with me....hopefully i will be making a comeback.

i was horribly sick for the last week and a half - first with a headache that lasted 4 days (which now i realize was the onset to #2)....second....a horrid sinus infection that i'm just NOW getting over. still have the congestion and the cough, but physically i'm feeling much better.

been fairly anti-social with the exception of a few close friends, my daughter and the new pup. he sure is quite a handful. it's hard to have time for anything else. i feel like i have neglected a few of my friends - one: my very bestest friend in the whole world who is several months pregnant and i STILL haven't gone to see her; then there is my sweet dandelion seed, whom i haven't gone to have fun with paint yet :(...and also mr. oceanshaman, whom i haven't been exchanging as many virtual conversations as normal. so to you all i definitely apologize and i do realize this and plan on making an effort to do something about it.

i know being the brunt of some virtual bullies and stalkers has also put a damper on my openness as well...which has mostly passed, but the residue still lurks.

here's the little 8 week old pooter. him and bella are now best of friends. bella wasn't all that excited about him at first, but only took a few days for them to start playing non-stop. i can't wait to see what happens when she realizes that he's not going to stay this size. HA!

alright...back to work. much loves.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I'm sick and it SUCKS

me to "a" : is it just me or is "c" picking up the phone and calling you a lot today? why doesn't she just turn around and talk to you? i dunno...that's just weird to me.but then again, i can't get my nose to stop running, so i've stuffed kleenex up my nostrils. who's REALLY the weird one here. HAHAHAH

"a" to me : She is – it’s a little strange… I think that was the third time today. And Kleenex are better than tampons – I resorted to that once.

me to "a" : that deserves an "LOL". "ivycurlz" told me to do the tampon thing, but i refuse. kleenex is much more stylish. seriously, do they not make sinus medicine that dries you up anymore. GAH!!!!!!!!!!!

"a" to me : Kleenex is definitely more work-place appropriate – you’d get quite a few disgusted looks if you were to walk around the office wearing tampons up your nose. :)