Monday, March 28, 2016

Loosening The Grip



So I've been a grateful member of a wonderful recovery group for almost 2 years now (4/1/14).  I am absolutely not the same person I was that day because of this program 100%.  I left it for a few months thinking I didn't need it anymore, but I do.  Every.damn.day.  Forever.

A lot of people think you stop needing something just because a particular person (substance, thing, place, etc) is out of your life, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

I am blessed beyond measure to belong to such an organization that is there whenever I need it and is available to me 24/7.  The people I have met and become friends with have forever changed my life.  For the better.

Life isn't easy.  I will never be perfect.  Situations will be difficult.  But I know 100% that if I stick close to this program, I can overcome anything and find complete serenity.  It's only been 2 years and I am in awe of the transformation by working the steps and attending meetings has done in my life and for my well being, my outlook on life and for my life in general.

I walked into these rooms with debilitating anxiety and depression and willing to do anything as I had hit rock bottom.

Today, I still have some anxieties and depression, but I no longer have this looming sense of panic and doom over my head as I did prior to coming to this program.

Today, I am able to Let Go and Let God and truly understand the meaning of it.  Sometimes I have to remind myself to literally do so.  Other times, I have the realization that I did it already.  Automatically.  Because of this program and me working it for me, I can do it now.  And that baffles me.  Talk about a sense of serenity.  This program has continued to bring me miracle after miracle and counting on my God (of my understanding) has been the single greatest freedom I have ever felt.

Today's reading was spot on.

CTC, March 28

What happens when I physically hold on tightly to something? I turn my head away. I squeeze my
eyes shut. My knuckles ache as my fists clench. Fingernails bite into my palms. I exhaust
myself. I hurt!

On the other hand, when I trust God to give me what I need, I let go. I face forward. My hands
are free for healthy, loving, and enjoyable activities. I find unexpected reserves of energy.
My eyes open to see fresh opportunities, many of which have been there all along.

Before I complain about my suffering, I might do well to examine myself. I may be surprised by
the amount of pain I can release by simply letting go.

Today’s Reminder

How much can God give me if I am not open to receive? When I hold onto a problem, a fear, or
resentment, I shut myself off to the help that is available to me. I will loosen my grip on
something today. I will “Let go and let God.”

“All I had to do was become the least bit willing to open my clutched fist a tiny, grudging bit
and miracles happened. That’s God as I understand Him today.”   ~ As We Understood

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