my whole life i've always been weary of change. whether it be good or bad...my weariness was always bothersome. but the fact is, whether positive or negative, it's all in how you embrace that change.
i've lived my life comfortably. always comfortable, but never feeling satisfied or feeling like "THIS" is truly where i am supposed to be....until now.
i started a new job last week and it fits me perfectly. i enjoy everything about it - the people i work with, the job i am here to do...finally. i think i'm truly in the right place and headed in the direction i wish to move and with the opportunity to do so laying straight ahead in front of me. what a refreshing feeling!
and my love life. i'm almost speechless. i met the most amazing man in march of this year. after many trials and tribulations of past relationships...some good and some...well...pretty horrible actually, i have FINALLY met the person that is perfect for me. my views on fate and destiny change almost daily sometimes, but i have to believe that something somewhere brought us together...knowing how perfect we are for each other. for once i am actually receiving just as much as i give. it's a beautiful feeling....i'm still trying to get used to the idea and my stubborness rears it's ugly head on occasion, but i am absolutely glowing. i have that relationship that i would look upon that couple and say "they are so perfect, it just makes you sick". I HAVE THAT NOW!!!!!!! and people around us even ones that don't know us very well see it...they see us light up when we are together and our love just shines. my puzzle is actually becoming complete. i've been so blessed in my life and that was the only puzzle piece that was missing. i have found it and i can truly say "i'm happy." and really mean it. i got this email from Horizon yesterday:
"I’ve never had love as a form of inspiration before, but I want to be a better man… a better person, someone that’s worthy of your shining light and love. Your heart pushes me to improve myself – this mass of insecurities, muddled thoughts, and doubts – so that I can bring you everything positive that I have to give. I want to be able to view my reflection and know that I’ve earned every bit of love that you’ve ever given and continue to give to me, and that I’m giving you as much in return. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to live up to the gift of you, but I’ll use my very last breath and heart beat trying."
i am so in love with this man. i am looking forward to making that next step. we are talking about moving in together when my lease is up in april. he is in a town 45 minutes from where i live, so we are going to have to find a middle ground for both of us. my new job has moved me about 15 minutes closer, but we will be looking in an area that neither one of us are very familiar with, but i am looking forward to getting out of this city...even just a small ways out of it. i think it will be lovely.
that's really all i got. just wanted to gloat for a moment and share my happiness.