Oh Boy

here we go again.

Happy Friday the 13th!

guess what i'm going to see tonight? yep. that's right. i am a slasher fan. and i've seen many a jason flick in my day. it's probably gonna be pretty terrible, but i have to see it. who knows, it might actually be pretty good - it is a remake after all. it can't get any worse than the original, right?

ha....

so to you and yours happy friday the 13th!!! (oh and happy valentine's day also tomorrow).

Fun With STRAIGHT Hair!

this might not be strange to those of you that don't know me on a personal level, but i spend 1 hour (yikes) over the weekend straightening my hair. it hasn't been straight since i straightened it everyday in high school. after high school, i finally gave in to my natural curl and let it go.

the truth is, i LOVE it straight! the other truth is that i am so low maintenance that spending an hour on my hair does not feel justified in my eyes.

so...i think it will definitely be a sometimes on the weekends thing :)

(by the way, i think this is really the first time i've ever posted a clear picture of myself on this blog. first time for everything, right?)

Sleeps With Butterflies reprise

i posted about this here, but i was recently asked again why i call my blog "sleeps with butterflies". i didn't go into much detail on that post so i will now.

for those of you who may already know and for those who do not know, tori amos is one of my mentors in every way. listening to her music from the time i was in high school until now, she has helped me through some very tough times in my life as well as some very happy times. i have truly been able to relate to her in every aspect through her music. she is an odd bird, yes i know, but she is an incredible soul. she is the ultimate woman in my eyes. she's strong, she's beautiful, she's smart, she's unique, she's eclectic, she's powerful, she's the symbol of feminine. as so much of us are and may not embrace it or have even realized it. she helped me realize that in myself.

most men do not prefer her as they feel her engulfing feminine energy and it probably frightens them a bit. the women i know either adore her or loathe her. i have never met someone the thought tori was "ok".

there can be many interpretations of the song "sleeps with butterflies" that tori wrote - on the album the beekeeper. as with any song, each individual interprets it in a different way. here are the lyrics:

Airplanes

Take you away again

Are you flying

Above where we live

Then I look up a glare in my eyes

Are you having regrets about last night

I'm not but I like rivers that rush in

So then I dove in

Is there trouble ahead

For you the acrobat

I won't push you unless you have a net

You say the word

You know I will find you

Or if you need some time

I don't mind

I don't hold on

To the tail of your kite

I'm not like the girls that you've known

But I believe I'm worth coming home to

Kiss away night

This girl only sleeps with butterflies

With butterflies

So go on and fly then boy

Balloons

Look good from on the ground

I fear with pins and needles around

We may fall then stumble

Upon a carousel

It could take us anywhere

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite

I'm not like the girls that you've known

But I believe I'm worth coming home to

Kiss away night

This girl only sleeps with butterflies

With butterflies

With butterflies

So go on and fly boy

what do you think it means?

i am connected to this song because i relate to it so well. my interpretation is tweaked a little bit every time i listen to it, but overall my take is that she is in love with a man (doesn't necessarily have to be a new relationship - could even be very established - that's up for interpretation as well) who might have a bit of a commitment issue of sorts or feels too tied down. maybe he feels this way and has left. but she's assuring him that she's not like the girls that he's known...but she believes she's worth coming home to (such a powerful lyric here - so full of self-worth). she's letting him know that she won't smother him and she'll be here when he gets back. as for the sleeps with butterflies part, to me, that's like assuring him that she doesn't sleep around and she will be here when he comes back for her. other people may interpret as she sleeps with only butterflies (such as him - letting him fly and come back to her) - and telling him to go - she'll be there waiting.

i feel this way about someone - i won't go into detail, but it's kind of been a pattern for us. but i chose to look at it as a thing of beauty.

at any rate, i feel a special connection with this song and i decided to name my blog after it.

Tori Amos - Sleeps with Butterflies.mp3 -

Psycho Ramblings From The Overworked And Underpaid : Volume 2

ha. i had to dig deeply to even find the first installment of this. we still have regular chat conversations that i know are worthy of a post, but the fact is i've been so frackin busy, i barely have time to breathe. but today's made me laugh, so i thought i would share.

ivycurlz: so um "ES" said Bath and Body works is having a clearance sale, and they have some of those mini lotions for a dollar
so i want to go at lunch
do you want to go?
butterfly: surely
ivycurlz: wurd to your
butterfly: i think i even have a gift cert
ivycurlz: mama
your not allowed to buy anything
sorry :(
butterfly: i keel you
ivycurlz:i keel you first
butterfly:the only way i could would be to use the gift cert
lmao
ivycurlz: well dont take it with you
so you cant buy anything
ivycurlz: i'll just give it to you so you can misplace it
:p
hahahahaha wheeeeeeeee (side note: ivycurlz is notorious for misplacing her debit card)
i made myself laugh with that one
ivycurlz: muwawhahahaah
nooooooooooooo
you just cant take it
you can use umm maybe sometime after the 26th
hahahahaahah
butterfly: i will take it and YOU WILL LIKE IT
don't make me come over there
ivycurlz: YOU WILL EAT MY CHUNKY TURDS
butterfly: hello my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father.
ivycurlz: and you will like it
butterfly: prepare to die
ivycurlz: LMAOAOOAOAAAOAO

*insert jibber jabber not worth posting*
(after bailing on going because i have too much work to do, i give her my $15 gift card to use to get whatever)

butterfly: mmmm that smells good
get a bunch of them seriously!
and we can give some to k* and ladybug
don't you DARE bring me back that card or i will shove it up your ass.
ivycurlz: thats hot
butterfly: i knew you'd like that
ivycurlz: i do
im all hot and bothered
lol
butterfly: you are disturbed
ivycurlz: i know
i love you too

Spiderwoman? Not So Much....

so. yahhhhhhhh. like my spider bite? atleast that's what the docs think.

i've never had a serious bite like this and i gotta say it hurts like a sommummabitch.

i ended up going to an urgent care office on friday after work after showing my mother my leg when just a day before i was so blase about it thinking it was simply an ingrown hair. um. no. not that. i got a shot of strong antibiotic along with another prescribed antibiotic. yuk. sometimes i think antibiotics are the devil.

so i went through the weekend in major pain with the bite not getting too much better. i made an appt with my general practitioner to see her on monday morning. she proceeded to tell me that sometimes our bodies build up immunities to "new" antibiotics so they have to go back to the "old" ones. she has now got me on an "old" antibiotic mixed with a "new" antibiotic. dear lord. i feel like crap. i hate the way antibiotics make me feel. however, my bite is getting smaller and doesn't hurt as bad.

good times.

February

february is a special month for me. mainly because it's the month that holds my date of birth. hehe.

i made 3 new years resolutions this year.

1. quit smoking by 2/27 (day after my birthday)

2. get in shape for my health and for my well being

3. ~ namaste ~ (refer to previous post)

february is here. i have 24 days left of smoking cigarettes. i'm not going to ween myself off or use a nicotine substance to try and take steps down. i'm quitting cold turkey. keep in mind i don't smoke THAT much. on the weekends, i admit, i do smoke about 1/2 a pack a day. during the week, i don't smoke at all until i get home from work, then it's only 1 or 2 for the night. i know i have the strength to do it and i'm going to be ready. i am going to use these last 24 days to realize that this is a beautiful thing for my body and my spirit and also enjoy and relish in the last few days of the joy in smoking. because yes, there is some sort of joy in smoking. smokers will know this. non-smokers of course will not. it's going to be a little tough, but i have faith in myself and i know i can do this. i will keep you posted on my progress.

i have started on my healthier lifestyle as of today (and no, i'm not ever saying the word diet). i have quite a bit of weight i would like to lose and tone to build, so i'm allowing myself to the end of the year to reach my goal. i'm going to do this slowly and correctly. it might come faster - (hopefully), but i'm not going to rush myself and i'm not going to overwhelm myself. i will not completely deprive myself and i will allow myself treats and cheats. but overall, i'm starting on a plan or guideline if you will.

outdoor soccer is starting again at the end of this month with practice starting this weekend, so i'm gearing up for that.

2009 is going to be a great year for me. the BEST year of my life. i can feel it. i have found a new inner strength, desire and positivity. and i'm going to make it that way...with mother/father god's presence in my life, i've stepped into the divine flow. and it feels extraordinary.

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ooooh, also i forgot. my birthday present to myself this year is going to be a new tattoo! :) what i want is still in the works, but i have it narrowed down. i will post pics when i get it!