Laugh of the day

Laura says: blodlelelele
Aude Yo mama says: bnebnekbaibe
Aude Yo mama says: thats german for "blodlelelele"
Laura says: did you hock up a loogie in that one?
Aude Yo mama says: i hocked up yo mama
Aude Yo mama says: then out her out on the streets to make me some $$
Laura says: ewwwwwwwwww
Laura says: hahahah
Aude Yo mama says: shes a hocked hooker
Aude Yo mama says: wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Aude Yo mama says: did you just grab my butt?
Laura says: lol
Laura says: no
Aude Yo mama says: whatever
Aude Yo mama says: i saw you
Laura says: i've been at my desk you freaky deak
Aude Yo mama says: you look like a cup of hot chocolate today and im gonna drink you
Aude Yo mama says: NO
Aude Yo mama says: u WERE at the water holey oh
Laura says: lol

It's over....thankfully

i don't know what the hell my deal is this year, but i could not WAIT for christmas to pass. the ladybug got LOTS of goodies, so i know she was happy and that's all that mattered in my eyes this go round. i got an unexpected ipod shuffle from a dear friend so i am going to try and figure out how to use this thing and move into the digital world. (this coming from a girl who has avoided mp3 gadgets and stuck with my cd collection) deep breath.

the madre got me what i asked for - a radar detector...yes, i'm a little lead footed.

today is nasty outside. 40ish degrees and raining. lovely. bella has a cold - i need to take her to the vet - she might also be blind in her left eye. i got mad yesterday trying to do the crescent roll job that my sister does every year, but i got stuck with it since she bailed on us this christmas. burned the f out of my middle finger on the oven putting marshmellows atop the sweet potatoes. ate way too damn much because i decided to not eat anything before the big dinner. tryptophan set in and i was zonked. could not wake up this morning and now i am at work AGAIN bored out of my gourd. i need a nap. damn i'm cranky.



one good thing in the last couple of days is i finally started again and finished the kite runner. it took me almost a month to get past page 16 of the book. i kept starting it and putting it down, then had to start over again because i forgot what the hell had happened. finished it up last night - started christmas eve. i wanted to get it read before i go check out the movie. if you read any book in the near future, i HIGHLY recommend this one. it was utterly unbelievable. so well written.

bah humbug.

Have a holly jolly Christmas

welpppppppp, seems like me and 5 other people are the only people in the u.s. having to work today. bah. hopefully we will get off early, because this is just retarded. i can hear crickets chirping in my office.

so i just wanted to take a quick moment to wish everyone a very very very merry christmas spent with family and friends and good memories. as much as i'm not in the spirit this year, i'm finally feeling a tinge of it. :)

oh also, i need to pimp myself here for a moment. i opened my own little etsy shop for my jewelry. check it out here: http://www.sunshinebuttrflygirl.etsy.com/.

ho ho ho!

Drive-by Flashbackin'

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



and out in 3.....2......1

Happy Fookin Holidays

ugh...this is what i'm buried under. for god's sake people, go on vacation already and leave me alone!!!!!!!!

update 1 hour later today....and NOW they are piling up on the floor. someone please shoot me.

The heartaches of parenting

babies and kids cry. they get hurt. it's a fact of life. you always hate to see your baby upset, but realize that they have to go through it - it's part of life and we went through it as well. they go to the doctor, they have to get shots, they cry.

BUT when your child has to go through something "out of the norm", sometimes it hits you harder. for me it did anyway. the ladybug had to have some dental work done yesterday. not a real big deal - she had two cavities in her baby teeth - one they crowned, the other was far too gone that they had to pull it. the dentist also put sealants on her back molars, which is a fairly standard procedure for kids to help prevent cavities. i had the same thing when i was a kid. so anyway...in theory, fairly simple procedure. no biggy.

i've had a lot of dental work in my life including 2 surgeries, so i understand the pain and the nervousness that goes along with this. to this day, i can't stand having anything done to my teeth. i have reoccuring dreams about all my teeth falling out and it freaks me the hell out. anyway.....

my baby was a trooper yesterday. they gave her some watermelon laughing gas and went to town. everything went smoothly UNTIL the tooth pulling. (keep in mind, i am right here with her watching all of this and holding her hand) 1st mistake - me watching. the dentist started to work her way into this tooth and move it around with some force and i heard the ladybug let out a wail and started crying her little heart out. she squeezed my hand so tight i thought she had almost broken it. i can't explain to you how i felt after this was over with. i felt like i could cry for 5 days straight. i hated that she had to go through that and the pain that went along with it. i haven't felt like that since she was 5 days old and circumstances led us to a horrid hospital visit. 8 years of her life going through things that normal kids do, but last night, i wanted so badly to be able to take that experience away from her and put it on me. (i'm still teary eyed).

she was pretty miserable for about an hour after the procedure, then bounced back like nothing had ever happened. when i was putting her to bed last night i told her how sorry i was that she had to go through that and that i wish i could have taken the pain away from her. i was crying a bit and she looked at me and said "it's ok mommy. it's over with now...i feel fine!" then comes the part where you realize that your child is stronger than you are over a situation. wow.

what a bizarre feeling.

so she woke up today feeling great and back to her old self again and all is forgotten. she was pretty excited that the tooth fairy left her $2.00 though. she said she must have left her more since it hurt her and she had to have her tooth pulled. what a toot. :)

so now i'm bucking up because i now realize that as she is getting older, situations like these could possibly happen a little more frequently. maybe it's the fact that she remembers the pain now and remembers the experiences, as when she was a baby, she doesn't remember things as much. i have along road ahead of me. give me the strength.

~ Happy Beading ~

this may be a spoiler for some folks that i have made christmas presents for....but i couldn't wait to post, because i have my first necklace for sale now on ebay. :)

i met with the sweet ms. dandelion seeds a little over a month ago for some beading fun. she taught me the how to's and ever since, i've been a beading fool. i LOVE it and have found a real knack for it.

listing is HERE.

i named this piece ~ Autumn's Breath ~ ..... i was so tempted to keep it for myself, but i want to start sharing my creations with other people. :)

i also created a myspace page to display all of my creations : you can check it out HERE.

Our new addition

i'm so excited about our new addition to our little family. :)

the ladybug and i have adopted a little kitten. her name is isabella or as we call her "bella". i finally got her to sit still for a few minutes this weekend so i could snap some pictures of her. she's 11 weeks old and the sweetest thing ever. hopefully my allergies will not consume me...ha! happy christmas to the ladybug! :)

Flashback Friday : Volume 13

today i have one of my all-time favorite bands : the cocteau twins. i absolutely am in love with elizabeth fraser's voice...from the moment i heard it for the very first time. saw them in concert once - mid 90's at deep ellum live. what a show it was. not many people are even familiar with the band, much less any of their songs. so, if this is you, i encourage you to buy a cd....buy songs for itunes....whatever. take a listen...you won't be sorry.

i will leave you with two videos for the flashback friday today :

1st : "carolyn's fingers"

2nd : "iceblink luck"

Sooooooooooo......yah.

after a few hours of fighting with my insomnia the other night (which i'm so shocked that i have had since work has been STRESSSSSSSSING me to the max), i caved in and turned the tube on. strange days was on. i forgot what a freakin BAD-ARSE movie this is. not to mention, angela bassett looking mighty tasty. whew. anyway...drifting from my point here.

i started to drift off a bit towards the end and when the credits came up being in a semi-conscious daze that i was in, this song took me to another world. i knew once the male voice rode in on this song that it was none other than peter gabriel. fucking genious he is. i rank him up with sting with all the genres and all the different musical accomplishments they have both made in their lives. ol' petey does, however, have one bad mark on his record being linked to rosanna arquette and all, but hey, i'll forgive him for that - it was a long time ago...and besides, he got a hit song out of it. ;-)

the song is called "while the earth sleeps" by deep forest and peter gabriel. this is how i saw/heard it:



but close your eyes and feel it.

--------------------------------------------

i have a surprise for ya'll, but have to get pictures first, so i will post the surprise soon :)

Priceless

Jeep purchase : $15,000 on debit mastercard


Maintenance / Accessories : $1,000 on debit mastercard


Breaking apart your 1985 jam box and duct taping the speakers to the sides of your jeep for the ultimate pimped out sound system : PRICELESS






(yes, this is an actual Jeep in the parking garage at my place of employment. i'm not making this up folks)

Flashback Friday : Volume 12

aloha kiddies.

don't have much time to yammer today, but today's flashback friday is a tune from another one of my fav bands - new order. beautifully written song called "regret". enjoy. happy friday!



(ps. for a little giggle, check out this live video of "regret" that i found when searching - apparently at the scene of baywatch. haha!)

"Beautiful"

this song made me feel great this morning, so i thought i'd share:

g. love w/ tristan prettyman

Oh, yah...we are at war because...uh...uh...i forgot.

THIS really just makes me want to hurl.

gee....didn't see that one comin. (notice the sarcasm) what a fucking douchebag.

The Grieving Process

how long should the grieving process last? there are many things you can grieve over. the death of a loved one....a pet....the loss of a significant other leaving your life...the loss of a job....etc.

everyone handles grief and loss differently. for me, it hits me hard & head on, then almost immediately, i start the healing process. why? because we only have this one life to live...we can't spend the rest of our lives grieving over something that we've lost. we have to make the most of what we have and try and move on with our lives....to a new chapter. i didn't always feel this way. i would feel sorry for myself and crawl into a small hole for however long of a period of time and just mope. and waste away. not anymore. however, i haven't experienced the death of a child or a parent. i might feel differently or handle that loss completely different.

it's reaching 2 months since the initial "breakup". i grieved a lot for weeks on end. i was miserable. my spirits were eventually lifted when hope was brought back to me. that hope got taken away from me 2 weeks and 3 days ago. i was very very upset, but prepared in a sense. because i had already been through a grieving process the month prior.

people tend to judge other people in how long someone should grieve. ie: husband dies of 30 years to wife. wife is remarried within a year of his passing and already started a new life.

is that too soon?

personally, i tend to try to look at it from this perspective: everyone's situation is different, but WHO AM I TO JUDGE from an outside perspective? how do i know this person's situation? how do i know that her dying husband told her on his death bed to promise to move on with her life immediately and experience all she can to the fullest? hmmmm....that's something to think about.

you may never fully complete a grief process for the death of someone close to you or losing the love of your life (not to death, but to situation).

but i think the point is to not let your life completely stop. you have to allow yourself happiness in this life and you have to allow yourself to move on from your heartache. you are allowed to carry it with you and keep it close to your heart without it overcoming your being. you are allowed to carry that person with you in your heart until the day you die....but still be able to experience joy.

my hardcore grief process has come to an end. i'm ready to move on. i miss him very much, but i'm also not going to let his decision in this put a halt on my life. i have to move on...and search for that person that compliments me. to search for the soulmate that i thought was him? maybe he is that person....but i can not force that upon him when he is not willing to fight for us or when he has so many other deep seated issues that he needs to get through. i need to find my own happiness and my own path.....i have to be open to finding it again. i can't be closed off in that sense.

i recently read someone's view on the perfect mate. they weren't sure if they believed in such because people are constantly changing. and i never thought of it this way, but it was something that made me ponder the meaning. and i got it.

so here i am releasing my grief and moving on to the next chapter of my life. and just in time for the new year ahead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i remembered reading this and had to go back and find it. i found it very helpful:


DAILY OM
October 4, 2007
Stronger For It
Mending A Broken Heart

Heartbreak happens to all of us and can wash over us
like a heavy rain. When experiencing a broken
heart, our ethereal selves are saturated with grief,
and the overflow is channeled into the physical
body. Loss becomes a physical emptiness, and
longing is transmuted into a feeling that often
cannot be put into words. Mending a broken heart
can seem a task so monumental that we dare not
attempt it for fear of damaging ourselves further.
But heartbreak, like all emotions, falls under the
spell of our conscious influence.

Often the pain that wounds us most deeply also
leaves the most enduring mark upon us. The shock
that becomes the tender, throbbing ache of the
heart eventually leads us down the path of
enlightenment, blessing our lives with a new depth
and richness.

Acknowledging heartbreak's impermanence by no
means dulls its sting for it is the sting itself that
stimulates healing. The pain is letting us know that
we need to pay attention to our emotional selves,
to sit with our feelings and be in them fully before
we can begin to heal. It is said that time heals all
wounds. Time may dull the pain of a broken heart,
but it is fully feeling your pain and acknowledging
it that will truly help you heal. Dealing with your
heartache in a healthy way rather than putting it
off for tomorrow is the key to repair. Gentleness
more than anything else is called for. Most
important, open yourself to the possibility of
loving, trusting, and believing again. When,
someday soon, you emerge from the cushion of
your grief, you will see that the universe did not
cease to be as you nursed your broken heart. You
emerge on the other side of the mending, stronger
for all you have experienced.

Before I forget.....

i wanted to thank my sweet dandelion seed for bestowing this sweet little award upon me.



love ya sista.