Which is Worse?

Drank

hahahhaa - i can't stop giggling. my friend, crack monkey works for the weekly newspaper here. we had a holiday potluck over the weekend and she proceeded to tell us about this new drink they have out now called drank.

well turns out several employees at the newspaper conducted a taste test on friday and here is what happened :

"Drank" Drink Drunk

enjoy a little giggle this monday morning. :)

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY

just when i think i'm about at the end of my rope, my certification for work went through TODAY and i am now officially certified! whew! ANDDDDDDDD i get my raise next month.

i feel like screaming i'm so happy!

No Birthday Cake For Little Hitler

seriously? i just have no words. my heart goes out to these children.

No Birthday Cake For Little Hitler

Did I Say That?

i've never been one to have quick comebacks to anything. i'm the one that thinks about it later or what i would have said either in a funny or serious situation. but a conversation between myself and my very dear LL happened the other day and it went something like this...

LL : "hey guess what they are bringing back?"

ever so slight pause

me : "sexy?"

longer pause accompanied by a strange look of shock, horror and amusement all mixed together.

i was quite proud of myself. i laughed for well over an hour on that one.

Old Man Winter

"Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all."

~ Stanley Horowitz

i love texas, but it's weather sometimes...well...for lack of a better word...blows. we don't experience the seasons like the rest of the country does. and i'm not a big fan of the heat, so god only knows how i can stand it here in the summers. but i've done it all my life.

last night, temps dropped drastically and we even got a wintery mix to fill the air. yes, it's quite cold, but i love it. if only we could have winter for more than 1 month. ugh.

(pssst....check out the temp in the right side bar) - no, it's not a typo ;) AH, but alas, this weekend is supposed to be right back up into the upper 60's. bugger.

Divinity.

i should not be posting to this now, as i am currently so busy, i have work coming out of my ears. i've taken quite a bit of a hiatus from the blogging world (even from keeping up with my lovely blogging friends - to those of you, i apologize). don't know when i will come back on a regular basis, but just know i'm still out here in the void...just not as loyal as i have been in the past.

i've had so many things i've been wanting to write about lately, but work has taken over my life at the moment, i hardly have time to breathe on my own. it can't go on like this forever, right?

this month is quite bittersweet for me. actually i don't really mean bittersweet in the conventional sense. i don't get depressed over the holidays like some people do - for a number of reasons. it's always a time of reflection for me and it's also a slap in my face. it's the time of year that i reflect on everything i have done in the 12 months prior to this and what i HAVEN'T done. what i tell myself i will accomplish in the following 12 months. this is the month when my spirituality comes out full force and my inner struggles almost become too much to bear. i could probably write an entire novel on my tug-of-war with religion i have experienced since as far back as i can remember. the reason for the season. the birth of christ. or jesus. as i prefer to refer to him as...much less...uh...christian.

a prophet. a real life person in my eyes. in some people's eyes : the son of god or even the human form of god. this part i am skeptical on. believing that jesus was who he was in the historical sense has never been difficult for me. history can prove jesus's existence on earth.

divinity is my weakness. christmas songs. i truly love the spirit and i love the songs. as i hear them throughout this month, i guarantee you i will come unglued and cry atleast 10 times. happens every year. this whole "god" struggle really comes out.

i've been talking about visiting this church that my lovely dandelion seeds attends. i have had the desire to go check it out. to see if the experience brings anything to my life. brings any clarity to my contemplations. i haven't yet gone. i think i'm scared. scared of possibly finding my way. i am not a big believer in organized religion. FOR ME anyway. to each his own of course, but for me, spirituality is about your own personal relationship with...eeek...."god". or the divine one...or the goddess...or buddha...or whomever you choose to believe in. (that's a whole other struggle in itself - part of be believes in god...another part a goddess and another part buddha and my native american in me pulls me in another direction - how can i live with myself being pulled in so many directions). it's like...here are your options - choose ONE. ugh. why do i have to only choose one? will i feel incomplete if i only choose that ONE? i think this is why i have remained agnostic for so many years. i am too afraid to make the full journey. but really...why all the stamps? why do i have to be christian or buddhist or agnostic or jewish? why can't i just be "spiritual"? i don't know how to do that. i do to an extent, but i'm incomplete. i am an incomplete me. my incomplete self.

this month, i am going to take an active roll in pushing myself a little harder. a little harder into my spiritual journey. this holiday season, that is my goal.

i want to write about jeff buckley. i want to write about other artists/people that inspire me or that i believe were or are more than just an ordinary human being. i want to write about some christmas cds i recommend. i want to write about love...about peace...about yoga...about meditation...about our new president and the impact of this election on us and the world. i want to write about my life. unfortunately, i just don't have the time right now.

hopefully my life will calm down a bit and won't be completely cluttered with work, work and more work. til then, happy holidays to you all. much love. ~ namaste ~

What Are YOU Thankful For?

it is impossible to make a list of ALL the things i am thankful for. on a smaller scale, this thanksgiving, i am thankful for:

1. my daughter, family, friends, my puppy-marshall, my kitty-bella (every living soul in my life)

2. the time i was able to share with those that are no longer with us

3. my senses...my sight, touch, taste, hearing, my intuition...

4. my health

5. me

happy thanksgiving all. i hope you have a lovely holiday surrounded by family and/or friends.

Weekend Recap

the wake and funeral were very nice. had some family drama friday evening at the wake, but we managed to get through it. the funeral was beautiful. the patriot guard attended the services. it was utterly amazing. i am still speechless. it was a cloudy, cold day. as soon as we got out to the gravesite for the short service there, the sun came out. it made me smile.

after going through all of this, i needed a break saturday night. crack monkey and i got together for some vino and "twilight". thank goodness we have a friend that works at studio movie grill and got us in for free. what a cheesefest. i was really disappointed with how the movie turned out. hopefully the sequels will be much better. all the characters were perfect, but the actual movie itself was just. wow. however....i must say that my obsession with edward has become even more unhealthy after seeing the movie. didn't know that was possible. whew.

RIP Uncle Dick

dear uncle dick,

i miss you so much already. you were part of the sunshine in my life. you were an amazing human being filled with such compassion and so much love. i was blessed to have gotten to know you as i have grown older and to see you not just as an uncle, but as a friend. i will cherish all the time spent with you and i will remember you always. your glowing smile that was so catching. the ladybug misses you too. you were so kind to her and told her she was the prettiest girl you had ever seen whenever you saw her. i know she will remember that as she grows older and she will hold you close to her heart for the rest of her days. sadness fills me today, as it did the moment i knew you had left us. tears fall from my eyes as i type this. i can only hope that i live a life as fulfilling as yours and i can learn from your kindness and carry that with me. i know your light will shine through in me until the end of my days. thank you for being who you were. you meant more to me than you will ever know. give jeanne and donnie my love as well. i know you have been waiting to be with them. you are home now.

i love you.

Nashville

i just returned from a work related trip to nashville, tn this past week. for those of you that live in dallas or any other concrete jungle, you will appreciate what i'm about to say. those of you that actually live where nature thrives, then you will think i'm crazy, but so be it.

as soon as we landed and on our drive to the corporate office, i felt like i was in a painting. they REALLY have seasons there. (obviously here we are lacking in the season changes). vibrant crimson reds, bright yellows and oranges....it was amazing. and mountains. i took 2 photos from my camera phone here:

my co-worker got several more photos and i will probably post them once she emails them to me. due to work, we didn't get out and see much, but we did take the opportunity wednesday night to go check out some of downtown nashville. we started at a place called the printer's alley. we spent most of our time down there at bourbon street blues and boogie bar...a spot where the locals like to go. i absolutely loved it. we saw a great blues guy, eric davis, perform. we stayed there a few hours and enjoyed conversations with the locals.

we then left there and headed up lower broadway. lines were long to get into the bars, but we got some good photos. hopefully i can get those posted soon.

glad to be home, but it was a nice get-away even though it was work related.

Day 1 (and 300th post - woo-hoo!)

Disgusted

right in our own backyard. ignorant, uneducated fuckholes. there's a reason why they call it WACKO.

i suppose we have more of this bs to look forward to.

Baylor interim president confirms apparent racial incidents election night on campus

Two Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

although today is a great day in america and around the world - i am still boasting with joy....part of me feels disappointed because of this.

i can't believe people regressed on this issue.

Voters approve Proposition 8 banning same-sex marriages

WE DID IT AMERICA!

before i actually try and get any work done today, i wanted to try and get out some of what i feel. i am so emotional right now, i can hardly contain myself. i am full of happiness...and of HOPE. hope for our future. hope for a change. FINALLY.

i honestly can't believe it! although i held hope, i was still skeptical...i wasn't sure if it was enough. as the months have gone by, i have been glued to everything i could get my eyes on or my ears on. i really started believing we had a chance. that belief became a reality last night.

my friends (hehehe), history is made. history is in the making. and we are here to witness this bout of greatness! it's going to be a long long road, but we are FINALLY moving in the right direction. most of this change will come gradually and there are no immediate fixes, but it's going to happen. it's beautiful. i can feel it.

the acceptance speech was inspiring and emotional for me - i cried - heavily...i got goosebumps...and i smiled. widely.

i do also have to say that i was very impressed with mccain's concession speech. i have grown to despise this man. but after hearing what he had to say last night, i felt some compassion for him. maybe there is some good in him after all. palin was almost in tears.

i think we are finally going to be coming together as a country again. as americans. to gain the respect back from the rest of the world that we have lost over the last 8 years.

as my friend crack monkey said :

"dear america: thanks for not fucking up this time."

indeed.

so now i say "WELCOME MR. PRESIDENT!"

How Racism Works

i got this in an email a bit ago and found it very interesting and enlightening. hope you do as well. good point here.

How Racism Works

What if John McCain were a former president of the Harvard Law Review?
What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?
What if McCain were still married to the first woman he said 'I do' to?
What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife after she no longer measured up to his standards?
What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became addicted to pain killers, but acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?
What if Cindy McCain graduated from Princeton University and Harvard Law?
What if Obama were a member of the Keating-5?
What if McCain were a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

You are The Boss... which team would you hire?

With America facing historic debt, 2 wars, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, mortgage crises, bank foreclosures, etc.

Educational Background:

Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard University - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Now, which team are you going to hire ?

PS: What if Barack Obama had an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter....

Congressman Ron Paul's answer to the president

man, i really wish he had a standing chance. maybe next time around....

Dear Friends:

The financial meltdown the economists of the Austrian School predicted has arrived.

We are in this crisis because of an excess of artificially created credit at the hands of the Federal Reserve System. The solution being proposed? More artificial credit by the Federal Reserve. No liquidation of bad debt and malinvestment is to be allowed. By doing more of the same, we will only continue and intensify the distortions in our economy - all the capital misallocation, all the malinvestment - and prevent the market's attempt to re-establish rational pricing of houses and other assets.

Last night the president addressed the nation about the financial crisis. There is no point in going through his remarks line by line, since I'd only be repeating what I've been saying over and over - not just for the past several days, but for years and even decades.

Still, at least a few observations are necessary.

The president assures us that his administration "is working with Congress to address the root cause behind much of the instability in our markets." Care to take a guess at whether the Federal Reserve and its money creation spree were even mentioned?

We are told that "low interest rates" led to excessive borrowing, but we are not told how these low interest rates came about. They were a deliberate policy of the Federal Reserve. As always, artificially low interest rates distort the market. Entrepreneurs engage in malinvestments - investments that do not make sense in light of current resource availability, that occur in more temporally remote stages of the capital structure than the pattern of consumer demand can support, and that would not have been made at all if the interest rate had been permitted to tell the truth instead of being toyed with by the Fed.

Not a word about any of that, of course, because Americans might then discover how the great wise men in Washington caused this great debacle. Better to keep scapegoating the mortgage industry or "wildcat capitalism" (as if we actually have a pure free market!).

Speaking about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the president said: "Because these companies were chartered by Congress, many believed they were guaranteed by the federal government. This allowed them to borrow enormous sums of money, fuel the market for questionable investments, and put our financial system at risk."

Doesn't that prove the foolishness of chartering Fannie and Freddie in the first place? Doesn't that suggest that maybe, just maybe, government may have contributed to this mess? And of course, by bailing out Fannie and Freddie, hasn't the federal government shown that the "many" who "believed they were guaranteed by the federal government" were in fact correct?

Then come the scare tactics. If we don't give dictatorial powers to the Treasury Secretary "the stock market would drop even more, which would reduce the value of your retirement account. The value of your home could plummet." Left unsaid, naturally, is that with the bailout and all the money and credit that must be produced out of thin air to fund it, the value of your retirement account will drop anyway, because the value of the dollar will suffer a precipitous decline. As for home prices, they are obviously much too high, and supply and demand cannot equilibrate if government insists on propping them up.

It's the same destructive strategy that government tried during the Great Depression: prop up prices at all costs. The Depression went on for over a decade. On the other hand, when liquidation was allowed to occur in the equally devastating downturn of 1921, the economy recovered within less than a year.

The president also tells us that Senators McCain and Obama will join him at the White House today in order to figure out how to get the bipartisan bailout passed. The two senators would do their country much more good if they stayed on the campaign trail debating who the bigger celebrity is, or whatever it is that occupies their attention these days.

F.A. Hayek won the Nobel Prize for showing how central banks' manipulation of interest rates creates the boom-bust cycle with which we are sadly familiar. In 1932, in the depths of the Great Depression, he described the foolish policies being pursued in his day - and which are being proposed, just as destructively, in our own:

Instead of furthering the inevitable liquidation of the maladjustments brought about by the boom during the last three years, all conceivable means have been used to prevent that readjustment from taking place; and one of these means, which has been repeatedly tried though without success, from the earliest to the most recent stages of depression, has been this deliberate policy of credit expansion.

To combat the depression by a forced credit expansion is to attempt to cure the evil by the very means which brought it about; because we are suffering from a misdirection of production, we want to create further misdirection - a procedure that can only lead to a much more severe crisis as soon as the credit expansion comes to an end... It is probably to this experiment, together with the attempts to prevent liquidation once the crisis had come, that we owe the exceptional severity and duration of the depression.

The only thing we learn from history, I am afraid, is that we do not learn from history.

The very people who have spent the past several years assuring us that the economy is fundamentally sound, and who themselves foolishly cheered the extension of all these novel kinds of mortgages, are the ones who now claim to be the experts who will restore prosperity! Just how spectacularly wrong, how utterly without a clue, does someone have to be before his expert status is called into question?

Oh, and did you notice that the bailout is now being called a "rescue plan"? I guess "bailout" wasn't sitting too well with the American people.

The very people who with somber faces tell us of their deep concern for the spread of democracy around the world are the ones most insistent on forcing a bill through Congress that the American people overwhelmingly oppose. The very fact that some of you seem to think you're supposed to have a voice in all this actually seems to annoy them.

I continue to urge you to contact your representatives and give them a piece of your mind. I myself am doing everything I can to promote the correct point of view on the crisis. Be sure also to educate yourselves on these subjects - the Campaign for Liberty blog is an excellent place to start. Read the posts, ask questions in the comment section, and learn.

H.G. Wells once said that civilization was in a race between education and catastrophe. Let us learn the truth and spread it as far and wide as our circumstances allow. For the truth is the greatest weapon we have.

In liberty,

Ron Paul

British Shorthair?

i TOTALLLLLLLLY want this kitten. i wish it were real so i could pull it out of the picture and have it as my baby. ha! i tried to figure out what kind of cat breed it is...i think it might be british shorthair? anyway....tally ho - it's the weekend! enjoy it!

Reflections

it's weather like this that makes me want to be anywhere but this concrete jungle. the weather is beautiful, but the environment is all wrong.

if i could be anywhere right at this moment, i would be standing right here....feeling the cool breeze off the water and taking in all the beauty of mother nature.

ashley mountain @ lake o' the pines...east, texas. (photo by butterfly)

R.E.M.

it's no secret that R.E.M. is definitely one of my top favorite bands. although i have to admit that i haven't really listened to anything new from them since "monster" that was released in 1994. i wasn't all impressed with that album much. i've heard bits and pieces of all the other albums released after that, and again...wasn't too impressed. i have heard through the grapevine though that this new cd, "accelerate" is very good. i am going to have to check it out. but EVERYTHING....and i mean everything R.E.M. put out from "automatic for the people" and prior, i LOVE.

i threw in "automatic for the people" this morning on my way to work and fell in love with it all over again. for me, it's easy to do with R.E.M.

i wanted to post 2 songs today. the first i would have to say ranks up in my top 5 songs of ALL time. the second song i just adore. they both take me away to a magical place.

happy friday all ~

Hurricane Ike / 911 / "Security Check Points"

um...so i got in today infuriated at what i witnessed this morning driving out of my community. i was going to blog about it, but have not had time, and in all actuality i don't have time for this even. long story short, there were roughly 30 constable cars in a 100 ft radius doing a security check point. it literally looked like there was a mass murder that had just taken place. i was a little concerned as i pulled out onto the street, i rolled down my passenger window and inquired to one of the 8 constables that were standing in this one area if everything was ok. they all just stared at me wordless, and shoo'd me on. wtf?! then once i crossed another intersection, i saw what was going on. there were 10 tow trucks lined up from 1 tow trucking company. bastards were setting up a trap. i will write more about it later. anyway....

just a quick word about the 7th anniversary of 9/11. regardless of what any of us believe was the cause of this, it is a fact that massive amounts of people died that day. keep them in your thoughts today and maybe throw out a little prayer here or there if you go that route.

i'm actually getting a little nervous about hurricane ike. i just read this on bloomberg :

Sept. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Hurricane Ike tripled in size in the central Gulf of Mexico as it churned on a weekend collision course with the 5.6 million residents of the Houston area, where coastal communities prepared to evacuate.
The system's strongest winds extend as far as 115 miles (185 kilometers) from the eye, up from 35 miles yesterday, the Miami- based National Hurricane Center said today. Ike's wind field is now larger than that of Katrina, the storm that devastated New Orleans in 2005, said Jeff Masters, the director of meteorology at private forecaster Weather Underground Inc.
``The total amount of energy is more powerful than Katrina, so we could be seeing a storm surge that could rival Katrina,'' Masters said. The storm is so large ``the location doesn't matter much; it is going to inundate a huge part of the Texas coast.''
Galveston, parts of southern Houston and areas south of the city and near the Texas coast were under a mandatory evacuation order starting at noon today, local officials said at a press conference. The coast may see a storm surge of as much as 20 feet (6 meters). Ike is following a track similar to the 1900 Galveston hurricane that killed 8,000 people.

um....folks...this isn't good. i've been to galveston many many times in my life and when you go and see the photos and read the stories or even HEAR the stories of the 1900 hurricane, devastation takes over your entire being. granted, we are much more technologically advanced in this day and age, but we certainly still can't stand up to mother nature. i've also been hearing talk that even as far north as we are, dallas is still going to be hit hard - predicting worst storms here in 20 years...and possibly still considered a "tropical storm" by the time it reaches us. um.

depending on the outcome of this, me and several of my friends are already talking about making a slumber party out of the situation. hopefully it won't be as bad as they are predicting, but i gotta say, i'm a little worried.

keep texas in your thoughts over the weekend and send us good vibes. we're gonna need it!

(click here for full view)

I Have Butterflies :)

posted over at http://butterfly-musings.blogspot.com/. go check it out!

A Year Later

pretty cool. obama was at the top of my quiz a year ago today.

I Know It's Thursday, But....

from my fav political blog,

Wednesday Funnies - VPILF Edition

gotta love bill maher.

PALIN = failin'

ok i am going to go ahead and put a disclaimer up here now that if you don't want to hear what i have to say about the republican party (because this is about to be quite ugly), then PLEASE stop reading now. as it is my blog and i am allowed to express my own opinions.

ok...if you are still reading, don't say i didn't warn ya.

--------------------

i am literally disgusted this morning. after my soccer game, i decided that i was going to go home and try (the operative word here) to force myself to watch some of this republidump convention. and since the newly elected vp for mc-chumpalay's campaign has been selected and no one knows who the frack she is...i figured i would go ahead and try and educate myself by listening to HER speak, aside from what i've been learning via the lovely internet these past few days. yah...not impressed.

i made it through 2 hours - off and on. barely. and painfully.

first romney, then huckleberry (whom i don't mind all too much), then some ma'am-sir (yes, she looked like a man), whom i'm assuming is the mayor of hawaii because that's all she kept talking about was the population of hawaii and comparing it to the population of alaska. barf. then googliani. ugh...that guy. don't even get me started.

side note : how cute was it that palin's 17 yr old pregger daughter had her self-professed "fuckin redneck" "mr. classy" baby daddy there sitting beside her holding her hand the whole time. awwwwwwwww. (GAH!)

up until the point that palin took the stage, this convention has been a complete snoozefest.

the only thing i will give her is she did get the crowd riled up and motivated. but your enthusiasm only goes so far once you look past it and listen to what she really is saying.

what did she say? what did I, personally get out of that speech? uh....i'm at a loss. i actually had to choke her speech down, literally as i was trying to eat my dinner. mary kay said absolutely nothing about anything that MEANT anything. yes, she was personable and introduced herself in her own terms...but all she did was defend her *cough*lack of *cough* experience and tell us that her lovely 19 year old son is going to be deployed to iraq soon and she couldn't be more proud of him and how she got into this as a hockey mom (is that similar to a soccer mom?) and joined the pta. awww...how very sweet. and poked jabs at obama (which of course is fair - she was pretty tasteful for the most part in that aspect), and WAR WAR WAR - we are close to a "victory" in iraq...and said something about stirring up the whitehouse. about how a mccain/palin ticket would STIR UP THE WHITEHOUSE and how mccain's many actions would promote the change this country needs.

HUH?!?!?!

tell me, avon lady, what exactly is going to change in the whitehouse if you and mcdouchebag actually win this presidency? spell it out with me. n-o-t-h-i-n-g.

nada.

zilch.


THEN, on top of all this i heard about how "they", as is the repubs, are treating ron paul...whom is still out there fighting for this nomination (god love the guy - i really do support what he's about - and i would totally vote for him if i thought he had any sort of chance in winning this election). "they" would let paul speak ONLY if he went by THEIR restrictions. i'm sorry - isn't this a free country? i'm sorry...isn't this what all of this debating and rah -rah shit is for? to speak your mind and to say what you believe in? i'm sorry, does being a republican AUTOMATICALLY make you PRO-FUCKING-WAR? just because ron paul disagrees with this pointless war, doesn't mean he doesn't have a right to participate in his own party's convention. that is enough reason for me right there to despise what this party stands for period. as if i didn't already. ron paul needs to move away from the republicans and claim himself as an independent again. i would be ashamed to be considered a republican. truly. but good for him, as he held his own rally at a smaller stadium down the street and had already sold 10k tickets. you go, ron.

alright. i feel better now. i believe my rant is coming to a close.

we are 2 months away from the presidential election of november '08. with that said, i'm probably going to be talking a lot more about it as it is CRITICAL that we make a change in the whitehouse this time around. truly. i urge all of you out there to do your research and to please please make an educated decision. as long as it's EDUCATED, please go vote!!!!!

Introducing : Sisterhood of the Traveling Winos

logo created by josi*

2 of my bestest girlfriends in the whole world (crack monkey and josi) and i have formed an alliance for ourselves by the name of "sisterhood of the traveling winos".

we have BIG plans. of course we may be dreaming a little bigger than what's affordable, but we already have plans in the works for a few destinations.

biggest and #1 focus : italy and greece in october of 09. crack monkey's sister has lived in rome for 10 years now and is getting married next october, so we are making a trip out of this one.

there's also talk of a vacation to forks, wa - i don't even need to explain why.

there's also portland, or and san fran, ca and new orleans, la

and a mineral bath, therapeutic weekend in hot springs, ar (which is much closer to home)

i'm sure we will be creating a blog shortly with some of our adventures along with photos, so stay tuned for that.

ciao bellos and bellas!

Maybe There Is Hope!

so i was listening to NPR this morning on the way to work and heard the big news about palin's 17 year old daughter being "about" 5 months pregnant, but "plans" to marry the father. (and of course with the rumor's that sarah's 4 month old, trig, being her daughter's baby as well...whew boy)

whoa.

i don't want to say too much on the subject as i don't want to create too much hoopla on my blog, but i gotta say that even though i have been rooting for obama to win and stating that i will move out of this country if mccain wins the presidency...i honestly believed that it would be a close race, but due to so many circumstances that i could list out here by the hundreds, this hope for change wouldn't be enough and mccain would win in the end.

but NOW....

i think this might have been the biggest mistake of mccain's campaign and may actually push obama into the presidency. (we can only hope).

these right wing conservative republicans and evangelicals are NOT going to go for this.

suck it mccain. HA!

---------------------------------

copied from a thread on metafilter :

Can someone explain why this might disqualify Palin for VP? Not being snarky (nor supportive, for that matter), I'd just like to know and I can't think of a good reason.

It doesn't. Being incompetent and possibly abusing her office disqualifies her for VP. This just points out that she's a goddamn hypocrite who wants the federal government to monitor other women's vaginas but already has surrogates feeding media cycles with rhetoric that it's outrageous- outrageous- for anyone to question the morals or motives of her own family life.
If anything, it raised yet another major question about McCain's judgment. GOP reps are now saying McCain knew of this, and yet for some reason he actually thought that this might not actually be an issue.
The man is losing his mind.

posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:55 AM on September 1

Prepping for my 3 day weekend

i'm going to try my damnedest not to take any work home this weekend. we'll see how that pans out. i'm kind of in a blah mood today for whatever reason. my body is sore as i have already played 3 soccer games this week and going for my 4th this evening. thank goodness i have a break on sunday since it's labor day weekend and we don't have a game. i need the break desperately. my body's not young anymore.

i'm tired of money woes. electric bills this summer are kicking me in the a$$ and i am broke constantly. gotta love the texas heat. it's not like i go shopping or buy anything lavishing or go out drinking. because i don't. it all goes to bills. agh! i'm just frustrated. i just got paid today and it's already all gone. sickening.

i sure hope gustav doesn't head for new orleans, although it looks like that's the path it will take. hopefully it will decrease in category by then. today is the 3rd year anniversary of hurricane katrina and the devastation it caused the city of new orleans. not to mention our crap a$$ government who completely dropped the ball on helping these people. it makes me tear up just thinking about it.

i haven't been able to see ANY of the DNC, which i am so pissed off about. i simply haven't had the time to sit down and watch any of it this week - with the ladybug starting school this week, soccer, work, taking work home....i haven't even had time to breathe. i'm hoping i can look online this weekend and watch some videos of what i've missed. i've heard it's been quite phenomenal...i didn't even get to hear obama's speech last night either, which i'm even MORE p/o'd about. agh. i really need a vacation. no money = no vacation. fantabulous.

pardon my sour mood today folks. i'm going to get back to work.

edgar winter and rick derringer are at HOB tonight...which would be a killer show of the classic rock persuasion. so, in honor of that, please enjoy this classic from the edgar winter group :

http://www.last.fm/music/Edgar+Winter/_/Free+Ride

and this from rick derringer:

soulhat

soulhat is one of my favorite local - as in austin - bands. i have been fortunate enough to see them many times live mostly 6-7 years ago, but recently got to see them again i believe close to a year ago with patrice pike (who i LOVE as well) at the granada theater. they always put on a kick-ass show. so i threw in experiment on a flat plane this morning on my way to work and rocked out the entire way.

it's hard to find much of their music out there on the web, but i found bonecrusher, which is definitely an awesome song, so wanted to share. enjoy!

Moments of Clarity and Full Body Cleanses

for those of you that are interested in what's really been going on with me on a personal level, i've posted HERE.

~ namaste ~

Marry You

Which Twilight Character Are You?

which twilight character are you like?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Alice Cullen You are Alice you are a vampire you have good self control you seem to understand how others feel and can see into the always changing future randomly Alice Cullen 67% Edward Cullen 57% Bella Swan 33% Jasper Cullen 24%

Pressure Drop

RIP LeRoi Moore

i walked into work this morning and saw this on msn and my heart sunk. http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx/?news=327570&GT1=28102

what a horrible tragedy.

http://www.dmband.com/

"It's always easier to leave than be left," Matthews told the crowd, according to Ambrosia Healy, the band's publicist. "We appreciate you all being here."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uesIbOfT8hk

i can't even think of the words to say, so i will just leave with a dave song.

Play Possum?

there's only a few bugs or animals or things that really make me cringe. i try and have respect for all living things, including some of the less enchanting species that share our earth. roaches, rats and big spiders of the hairy persuasion are the main things that i try and stay away from. i know they all have their own place and significance on this earth, but that doesn't mean i have to want to hang out with them or like them really for that matter.

i've never really thought much of possums. mainly because i've only seen one up close in my life that wasn't dead (no pun intended) or running away quickly and was staring me dead in the face as soon as i opened my front door in the dead of night. talk about a little scared.

anyway...if only i had a video camera for this moment on saturday evening, when i casually open my back door with my glass of red wine to step out back for a moment and i see something dart across the top of the fence and run quickly off to my left. i realized in an instant that it was in fact a possum...although i'm sure my face was priceless. i realized i had stopped breathing for a second. i had to catch my breath as i closed the door behind me very slowly. it was then that i saw another one sitting on top of my fence. very still except that he kept turning his head to the side to glance at me. i opened the door not taking my eyes off the rat-imal and said "guys...uh...can you come here for a moment?" crack monkey joins me at the door along with the ladybug and we all stood in bewilderment for a moment staring at this thing. i'm not gonna lie...it was creepy. and even creepier that when we made noise or tried to shoo it away, it just sat there. one moment with it's back to us, the next moment, moving it's head to the side to stare at us. i didn't realize that their tails were so rat-like...which makes it even harder for me to sit here without getting the chills.

anyway....the ladybug caught it on film:




looking at these photos gives me the shivers whew.

on a happy and smiley and fuzzy note, here's mr. marshall at 3 months courtesy of the ladybug. we took him to the vet on saturday for his 2nd round of shots and the vet just about freaked. he's grown 71% in 3 weeks. he's now 22 lbs. good lord. we are gonna have a big fella on our hands.

Clocks (mariachi style)

ok...let me preface this by saying i thought for sure there was no way i was going to actually search for this and find it. me and a few girlfriends from work went to lunch at mercado juarez and i overhead this playing...i was like you can't be serious? we got a good giggle out of it...little did i know, it's really a legitimate remix. wow. i'm speechless.

update: holy crapsky! how did i not know about THIS ALBUM. i'm going out and buying it this weekend!

Gravity

i heard this song today and it took me to another place and literally made me feel like i was floating. i couldn't find this version except for here...so you will have to click to take you to the site.

sara bareilles & sonos : "gravity"

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do
I’ll still feel you here
’til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much
than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be.
I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way
I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

You loved me ’cause I’m fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be.
I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way
I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees
as I try to make you see that you’re everything
I think I need here on
The ground.
But you’re neither friend nor foe
though I can’t seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that
you’re keeping me down

Vultures

We're Gonna Rock Down To...(wait for it)

and of course we can't forget about jenny:

You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

guess what movie i watched last night? hehehe one of the best lines in a movie. ever.

Breathe

it's a confirmation for your imagination
this type of situation goes on and on
what to do, how to say
when every little thing seems to get in my way

well i can't breathe
and i wish that you couldn't take your eyes off me
but it's never easy as it seems, is it?
please, softly before i scream
breathe, breathe, breathe

you say you adore me
what good could you be for me
and after i'm gone, wondering where you went wrong
cause you're only taking inches when i'm giving you miles
did you figure that maybe i wasn't worth your while?

well i can't breathe
and i wish that you couldn't take your eyes off me
but it's never easy as it seems, is it?
please, softly before i scream
breathe, breathe, breathe

cause where you got me is where you want me
when you had me but you left me
and i let this go on for so long
got me where you want me
well you had me but you left me
and i let this go on for so long

and i can't breathe
and i wish that you couldn't take your eyes off me
but it's never easy as it seems, is it?
please, softly before i scream
breathe, breathe, breathe

(p.s. - i also posted a blog at http://butterfly-musings.blogspot.com/)

Groovin' Slowly

obviously i can't post any youtube videos, soooooooooo i'm not having flashback friday today...in fact...not sure when i'll be able to continue that installment. hopefully i can figure something out.

i've been listening to my john butler trio - grand national cd non-stop for the past 2 days. and LOUD at that. if you don't yet own this cd, i highly suggest you go purchase it. or download it or whatever you need to do. you won't be disappointed trust me.

i was actually surprised that when we were in the car last night driving to dinner, i had it on and LL was like 'whoa, who is this?'. i've been telling him about them (and of course if it's not blues/classic rock/funk type genre's, it's hard for him to steer away from that). when "daniella" came on, he listened and actually played it again. i was pretty excited about that.

so today i have 2 songs that i would like to share with you all as they are both stuck in my head and making me feel AWESOME today. happy friday!!!!



Beautiful woman, so sexy
Come shake that bottom over, over to me
Feel that one drop, feel that skank
Brother B playing that Hip Hop
It better than a, money in the bank
Lights are low, moon is high
I want you to know
That you're the brightest star in my sky and

I'm groovin' slowly
With my woman
Groovin' slowly
With my wo-man

DJ play that music
All night long
Play that funky kingston
You know it's our, our favourite song
Feel that back beat
Feel that groove
Got my baby on the dancefloor
She doin all her, her favourite moves

I want you to know girl
I want you to feel
I want to show you
That my love is real
I want you to see girl
You're the brightest star that shines
Even though there is no forever
I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time

'Cos I'm, I'm groovin' slowly

-------------------------------------------------------------



There are things in this life I
would rather not sacrifice.
You girl I cannot live without and
you know there's no doubt that
All I mind's losing you.

I don't mind losing sleep
Pray the lord my soul to keep
I'll get plenty of rest when I am dead
but till then won't you share my bed
cuz all I mind's losing you
All I mind's losing you

And I don't mind losing money
There's nothin this life owes me
I've been given more
than I can receive
But for you there's no receipt
So all I mind's losing you
All I mind's losing you

I don't mind growin o-old
Losing teeth and going bald
Not as handsome as I ever was
But you love me just because
All I mind's losing you
All I mind's losing you

There are things in this life I
would rather not sacrifice.
You girl I cannot live without
and you know there's no doubt that

All I mind's losing you (x3)

ACAI everything

over the last few weeks, my hotmail inbox (which i don't normally use for my primary email due to all the spam i get there) exploded with advertisements for the acai berry stuff.....claiming to be the new everything healing, superfood. is this possible? can one little berry contain all of these benefits or is this just a new fad?

as much as i believe in natural foods and natural healings.....i get very wary about things like this. unfortunately, due to my anxiety condition, i have chosen to take the common medical approach to living with my disease. therefore, this henders me from partaking in a lot of the herbal and natural routes that in my heart, i would prefer to use. as time goes on, i may decide the natural route will be better for me, but for now, i am sticking to what's worked for me for 5 years.

i am new to this acai phenomenon and i haven't really read more than a couple of articles over the past few days about it.

is anyone out there taking this? is it all a big hoax? or is there some real miracle in this stuff?

My Private Escape

after thinking about this for a bit, i've decided to leave this blog public. i have, however, created another blog that is invitation only for my more personal experiences that i do not necessarily wish for just anyone to have access to.

if you'd like access to this blog, please email me : lala226 (at) gmail (dot) com.

i will post a notification on this blog when i have posted one on the other, so you know when to check.

i just posted a blog : http://butterfly-musings.blogspot.com/

Taking the Risk ~ Daily Om 8/1/08

i subscribe to DailyOm and receive my daily emails, which i always read. even if i might not find a particular day to be too relevant for me, they are very moving and insightful. today's is quite appropriate for the life i have chosen to live over the past several years.

i celebrate WHO i am everyday. and what i'm about. I AM REAL. i am open about who i am and i am honest about how i feel. i don't play games, although i've been faced with the challenge several times over the years and here more recently. i have let it go. i won't get drug down with the negativity. i am a positive person. i am comfortable in my own skin. i can not be anymore than i am or strive to be. i am beautiful inside and out. i celebrate myself, my life, my family and my friends. i am whole. i am love. i am compassion. i am understanding. i am human. i am living.

and so are you.

celebrate life today and everyday and focus on being real. the world would be a much better place if we could all strive a little harder to let our inner souls shine through in everything we do. throw the masks away. celebrate YOU.

August 1, 2008

Taking The Risk

Permission To Be Real

Most of us are familiar with the idea of keeping it

real and have an intuitive sense about what that

means. People who keep it real don’t hide behind a

mask to keep themselves safe from their fear of

how they might be perceived. They don’t present

a false self in order to appear more perfect, more

powerful, or more independent. People who keep it

real present themselves as they truly are, the

good parts and the parts most of us would rather

hide, sharing their full selves with the people who

are lucky enough to know them.

Being real in this way is not an easy thing to do as

we live in a culture that often shows us images of

physical and material perfection. As a result, we

all want to look younger, thinner, wealthier, and

more successful. We are rewarded externally when

we succeed at this masquerade, but people who

are real remind us that, internally, we suffer.

Whenever we feel that who we are is not enough

and that we need to be bigger, better, or more

exciting, we send a message to ourselves that we

are not enough. Meanwhile, people who are not

trying to be something more than they are walk

into a room and bring a feeling of ease, humor,

and warmth with them. They acknowledge their

wrinkles and laugh at their personal eccentricities

without putting themselves down.

People like this inspire us to let go of our own

defenses and relax for a moment in the truth of

who we really are. In their presence, we feel safe

enough to take off our masks and experience the

freedom of not hiding behind a barrier. Those of us

who were lucky enough to have a parent who was

able to keep it real may find it easier to be that

way ourselves. The rest of us may have to work a

little harder to let go of our pretenses and share

the beauty and humor of our real selves. Our

reward for taking such a risk is that as we do, we

will attract and inspire others, giving them the

permission to be real too.

p.s....happy birthday jerry. (thank oceanshaman for your lovely posts and reminding us to celebrate jerry's legacy today)

well poo

i've run into a wee bit of a conflict here. they have blocked access to youtube up here at work, and obviously, quite a few of my posts contain youtube videos. AND since i can't post from home for some strange reason....this is going to be quite a challenge. gah. always a stick in the spoke, eh?

Every Breath You Take

we were watching the live aid concert last night on vh1 classic from 1985. i had never seen it. strange. beside the point. anyway....sting played an acoustic version of "every breath you take" with phil collins that was purely just lovely. and i wanted to share it with you all.

enjoy.

6 months sober

someone very special in my life is having his 6 month anniversary today of being sober. it doesn't seem like it's been that long, yet it honestly feels longer. reference this post.

i have never been an addict to much of anything. cigarettes are really about as far of an "addiction" i have had. and smoking is and was not really something i have HAD to have. we all have our own problems and i have my own issues with anxiety and occasionally other things. i have never understood drug or alcohol addictions. until a few years ago. when this person came back into my life after a long absence and i was there. i saw it head on and dealt with it every day of my life. holding on for dear life praying that this person was not going to kill himself. the alcohol, the cocaine, the heroine, the meth. all of it. this is the hard part about having an overly huge heart and thinking you can be there for everyone and help them. but this person meant so much to me that i knew i couldn't give up. i never gave up on him...even with all the SHIT we had been through or that HE put ME through. i almost gave up on him this last time. i kept my distance because i didn't want to get dragged into it again after the first 2 times. i didn't let him back in.

the main thing i've learned with addictions is that this person can not just say ok i'm done and quit. just like with anxiety, when someone tells me "oh just quit worrying". hmmmm. that part i completely relate to.

something happened to this person towards the end of last year and he was incapacitated (unwillingly of course), but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. his "rock bottom" if you will. he tried to get in touch with me during this time. at first i was skeptical...i was afraid to let myself in again. but i also knew that i am one of the only people he had. that he TRULY had. i was there for him again....but at a safe distance in my eyes. i didn't want to get hurt again.

he was released back into the free world on january 28th. being in his life now is how i had always imagined it would be. back when his addiction had taken over him, yet i knew the person he was beneath all of it. the hope that i hadn't lost for him shines through now. his life is coming together and major things are happening for him. we've had to get through a lot to be to the point we are at today. from the dungeons of hell, through all the apologizing, through all of the healing. we are as close as we could possibly be today. we have a bond between us that i've never shared with anyone else. i'm glad i didn't lose hope. i am so very proud of him. today and everyday as i realize the struggle it takes to get to this point. 6 months may not seem like long to your average person, but to an addict it can be a lifetime.

so congratulations to you sweetie. i love you so very much.

Diamonds On The Inside

i was told by a very close friend the other day that i wore diamonds on the inside. i think that's the best compliment i've ever received. i was incredibly flattered.

Ben Harper - Diamonds On The Inside (official video)

I knew a girl
Her name was truth
She was a horrible liar
She couldnt spend one day alone
But she couldnt be satisfied
When you have everything
You have everything to lose
She made herself a bed of nails
And shes planning on putting it to use
But she had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
Diamonds

A candle throws its light into the darkness
In a nasty world so shines a good deed
Make sure the fortune that you seek
Is the fortune that you need
Tell me why the first to ask
Is the last to give every time
What you say and do not mean
Follows you close behind
She had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
She wore diamonds on the inside
Diamonds
Diamonds

Like the soldier long standing under fire
Any change comes as a relief
Let the givers name remain unspoken
She is just a generous thief
She had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
She wore diamonds on the inside
She wore diamonds
Oh - diamonds
She had diamonds
She wore diamonds
Diamonds

Flashback Friday : Volume 33

i was in a deady mood today and coincidentally enough, i heard this on the way to work this morning.

enjoy.

Grateful Dead : "Touch of Grey"

Fidelity

i've been hearing this song a lot lately on my online radio station i listen to while working. i've heard several of her songs and i really dig her voice. she's fun and cute.

regina spektor - "fidelity"

Rebel With a Cause

i'm back at work today after a lovely vacation day off from work yesterday spent with LL since he's gotten back from his europe tour. we had a great day. HOWEVER, now i am sleepy cuz i dove into my twilight book again last night and ended up finishing the whole thing. dangit! it totally sucked me in just as i was told.

anyway....i bought the new gov't mule album "mighty high" over the weekend. it's fantastic. i highly suggest it.

this is the 2nd song on the album and definitely one of my favs. enjoy. happy tuesday!

best.article.evar.

well....it's up there. i almost peed myself the whole time i was reading i was laughing so hard. enjoy.

I Don't Have Time For Noncontroversial Art Exhibits

Flashback Friday : Volume 32

yes, i'm a slacker, hush it.

i knew i needed to do a flashback today, but my brain is mush this morning, so i had to get a little help from my friend, al.

per his suggestion, here is genesis : land of confusion from 1986. whew! takin ya wayyyyyyyy back.